
So tonight I'm helping out this Magician. All I am supposed to do is hook his little musical device into my sound system. No big deal right? Well his little box called an Mp3 Tech made by a company called Wireless Wizards, doesn't work.
It's a shame too because this device allows him to attach a little wireless remote control to his ankles and wrists, and they all control this little box that plays all of his sound effects across the room. It's a great idea too, because only the Magician can know for sure when to do the effect; so why shouldn't he be the one making it happen?
It's kaput. We call tech support, and everything but we can't get one in time for the show. So I ask him what the backup plan is. And he tells me, "Cash the check and run."
He thought about it for a moment, and decided against that plan. So what he made me do is watch his show three times in a row (three times too many), and learn all of the musical cues. Which was impossible! This mother shut your mouth had almost 100 musical cues for his act. There are entire productions of Cats, and The Producers that have less cues.
And as I'm watching his act I'm learning why. He needs the music to cover up all of the tricks that don't work. Nothing worked! It was like watching Gob Bluth do his "illusions Michael!"
So somehow we pulled this off. It reminded me of staying up all night to do a scene with some classmates for Michael Landman's Characterization class. Somehow this guy who I had thought was a total clown on the verge of collapse, is sawing women in half, and finding people's cards. And even more surprising throughout my scribbled notes, and his laptop I was able to play all of his cues for him. Did a few of them come early? Or late? You bet your ass they did. But we made it work, like a finely tuned Directing II final. I helped this entertainer get paid.
I know for a certainty that he made at least a thousand bucks for his two hour performance. He's a C-List name that I won't drop here, to save him some face, but let's just say this guy charges a bundle.
Now I wasn't expecting a tip, but I really was. A nice fat one, wrapped in money. I just saved this show, and his reputation. And for that he slipped me a twenty. I felt like a bottom ho getting an allowance from her pimp. I was all used and wet.
So you know what I did? I just stood there. But you know what I was doing in my mind? I was urinating. All over something of his something with intrinsic vale. Like his rabbit, or his wife.
Seriously though what a bastard. I had a better shot at being the magician than the sound guy based on the amount of prep time I had. And then I somehow pull it off, and this is the thanks I get?
I don't know what I really was expecting though. I think I would have settled on a Mercedes. Maybe a Lexus.