I have unofficially declared 2009 the Year of the Old Girl Friend. They have really been coming out of the woodwork lately. Calling from different states and shit just to talk to me.
What's even more ironic about the situation is I never ever once thought that I had a good break up. It seems like the girl and I just sort of stopped seeing and talking all together. I never thought I was doing any of this intentionally but I thought I'd play along with it to make everything seem cool.
What is it about the sound of an old flame's voice that can take you back in some sort of time machine? Instantly you're 16 or 24 again and you're right back there. You are for a moment even emotionally back there.
I'm hearing good things about the old me I guess. I was always good to them, treated them right; the sort of things you'd want to hear from an old gal pal. But I dunno it just makes me think of all the reasons it didn't work out. It's a very nice happy way to start a good sad thought.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Loving yourself
Why do I want to be awesome and love myself?:
You might be asking yourself why any of this is relevant. And to be completely honest I don't have a really good answer for you. I'm sure there are billions of humans that have already lived and died who didn't ever love themselves. Or there were people who loved themselves to a certain point but than jettisoned their own passion for some reason or other.
My belief is that when you love yourself unconditionally, and strive to be awesome every waking moment that only then are you working at your fullest potential. You may not be depressed about yourself or your situation in life. You may perceive everything to be fine and comfortable. And you might be right. I'm asking you to find out for yourself. Along the way you might find that you've been living exactly the way you should be all along. And if that's all you get out of this book, wouldn't that be great enough? I think it would. Even better what if you discovered something(s) about yourself along the way?
The very best reason that you need to start loving yourself is because nobody is going to do it for you. There is only one "me" in every one's life. And it's a very important person to be. There is nobody that can love you like you. And you will be the greatest love of your life. And you will allow yourself to live unashamedly and reap all that you sow.
Who am I?:
You have been living with your self for a very long time, and you probably have no idea who you even are. There are so many demands of living in a society there is almost no time to be an individual. Especially in a modern society where anyone can text, call or page you almost instantly.
You have to make some time to be alone. You have to love being alone. Because it's the time you'll get to be spending with the greatest love of your life. I have never been a person who has hated being alone. I know a lot of people who are very against the idea however. But you have to make some time to get to know yourself and fall in love with yourself a little more every day.
I like to take myself out on dates. A nice stroll through the library with yourself is very relaxing. Myself and I we love going to the video arcade together, and we have seen some pretty great sunsets in the park. This idea may seem a little silly at first, but if you would try it I think you'd be pleasantly surprised at how much fun the two of you can have on your own.
Why am I trying to date myself?:
Yourself and you have been fighting ever since you were born. You are a walking contradiction between the person you choose to be and the person you are. Don't you think it's time to re-examine some of the choices you've made? Maybe the person you are knows something too.
That's what myself and I spend a lot of time with. Who are we? It's a very big question, and an even more important conversation to be having. Especially with someone who unconditionally supports you. There is actually no other person you could be having this conversation with.
Hopefully when you really do find out who you are, and who you're trying to be you can make some compromises. You can reach an apex of the individual you are and the socialite you feel you have to be.
Everyone lies to themselves:
It is such a silly thing actually. Lying is so easy to do we don't even think about it sometimes when we do it. We learned how to do it as children and we've been doing it ever since. A little white lie here, a slightly larger one there it's so easy! Everyone believes pretty much anything you tell them.
The only problem is when you've become so adept at lying, as we all are, you start to forget you're even telling them or who you're telling them to. Pretty soon, sure enough you're lying to yourself.
The main problem with lying to yourself is that you are yourself. You will believe your own mind over any other source of knowledge. Even in spite of contrary evidence your gut always knows best.
When you love someone and I mean really truly love them you cannot lie to them. Because if you did really love them like you say you do you would be willing to talk to them about the hard things too.
It's very easy to avoid conversations with those close around you. Some people might even prefer to keep being lied to just to keep the smoothness of it all. Life isn't always about being smooth though. When you love someone you bring up those things because you want what's best for them.
And when the greatest love of your life needs a cold dose of the truth you need to tell it. How can you love yourself if you're not even brave enough to admit that you've told him/her lies?
If you want to love yourself like I want you to love yourself this might be a good time to admit some of the times you've lied to yourself. And it's ok to cry I won't tell anyone and neither will yourself.
Now that you've had a good cry(don't worry there will be more) STOP LYING TO YOURSELF DUMMY! And when you're ready to stop lying we'll move on.
You might be asking yourself why any of this is relevant. And to be completely honest I don't have a really good answer for you. I'm sure there are billions of humans that have already lived and died who didn't ever love themselves. Or there were people who loved themselves to a certain point but than jettisoned their own passion for some reason or other.
My belief is that when you love yourself unconditionally, and strive to be awesome every waking moment that only then are you working at your fullest potential. You may not be depressed about yourself or your situation in life. You may perceive everything to be fine and comfortable. And you might be right. I'm asking you to find out for yourself. Along the way you might find that you've been living exactly the way you should be all along. And if that's all you get out of this book, wouldn't that be great enough? I think it would. Even better what if you discovered something(s) about yourself along the way?
The very best reason that you need to start loving yourself is because nobody is going to do it for you. There is only one "me" in every one's life. And it's a very important person to be. There is nobody that can love you like you. And you will be the greatest love of your life. And you will allow yourself to live unashamedly and reap all that you sow.
Who am I?:
You have been living with your self for a very long time, and you probably have no idea who you even are. There are so many demands of living in a society there is almost no time to be an individual. Especially in a modern society where anyone can text, call or page you almost instantly.
You have to make some time to be alone. You have to love being alone. Because it's the time you'll get to be spending with the greatest love of your life. I have never been a person who has hated being alone. I know a lot of people who are very against the idea however. But you have to make some time to get to know yourself and fall in love with yourself a little more every day.
I like to take myself out on dates. A nice stroll through the library with yourself is very relaxing. Myself and I we love going to the video arcade together, and we have seen some pretty great sunsets in the park. This idea may seem a little silly at first, but if you would try it I think you'd be pleasantly surprised at how much fun the two of you can have on your own.
Why am I trying to date myself?:
Yourself and you have been fighting ever since you were born. You are a walking contradiction between the person you choose to be and the person you are. Don't you think it's time to re-examine some of the choices you've made? Maybe the person you are knows something too.
That's what myself and I spend a lot of time with. Who are we? It's a very big question, and an even more important conversation to be having. Especially with someone who unconditionally supports you. There is actually no other person you could be having this conversation with.
Hopefully when you really do find out who you are, and who you're trying to be you can make some compromises. You can reach an apex of the individual you are and the socialite you feel you have to be.
Everyone lies to themselves:
It is such a silly thing actually. Lying is so easy to do we don't even think about it sometimes when we do it. We learned how to do it as children and we've been doing it ever since. A little white lie here, a slightly larger one there it's so easy! Everyone believes pretty much anything you tell them.
The only problem is when you've become so adept at lying, as we all are, you start to forget you're even telling them or who you're telling them to. Pretty soon, sure enough you're lying to yourself.
The main problem with lying to yourself is that you are yourself. You will believe your own mind over any other source of knowledge. Even in spite of contrary evidence your gut always knows best.
When you love someone and I mean really truly love them you cannot lie to them. Because if you did really love them like you say you do you would be willing to talk to them about the hard things too.
It's very easy to avoid conversations with those close around you. Some people might even prefer to keep being lied to just to keep the smoothness of it all. Life isn't always about being smooth though. When you love someone you bring up those things because you want what's best for them.
And when the greatest love of your life needs a cold dose of the truth you need to tell it. How can you love yourself if you're not even brave enough to admit that you've told him/her lies?
If you want to love yourself like I want you to love yourself this might be a good time to admit some of the times you've lied to yourself. And it's ok to cry I won't tell anyone and neither will yourself.
Now that you've had a good cry(don't worry there will be more) STOP LYING TO YOURSELF DUMMY! And when you're ready to stop lying we'll move on.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Being Awesome and Loving Yourself
Over the next few weeks I'm going to be work shopping the next new thing for me. It's a book called "Being Awesome and Loving Yourself." I'm not going to post the book here, but I'm going to use this blog as a brainstorm environment for themes and ideas that will ultimately make up the meat and potatoes of my book....at least we'll get some blogs out of it anyway.
Being Awesome:
Awesome is obviously slang for something being really great, or awe inspiring. Awesome is the word I use for myself. Ultimately I want you to have your own word for yourself that means something to you. But until you do, go ahead and use mine and be awesome. Say it right now. "My name is ________ and I am awesome."
You might already think you're pretty cool, even a little awesome. You might start thinking to yourself, I don't need to know how to love myself, I love myself pretty darn good come to think of it. You might be right, not everyone needs this book. Put it down, stop reading and go be amazing. Best of luck to you. As for the rest of us...
Being awesome has a lot in common with hitting a home run. I have hit 7 in my life time. Hitting a home run and being awesome in life have nothing to do with results and everything to do with follow through. You show up everyday, and you keep your form solid and eventually you hit one out of the park.
Awesome people don't have time to worry or fear. It is not that they don't feel those emotions but they have already made arrangements for them. If something is scary they are going to confront it, and if something is troubling them they are going to get to the bottom of it. And whenever something comes up they keep at it and always follow it through to the finish line.
They don't do it because they want the recognition that comes along with being impressive, they do it so that their mind is doubtless and an open canvass ready and in shape for self love.
That's why people should be awesome. Not to win an award, or a ribbon, or be the most popular kid on your block. But because you are awesome. And anything less from you would be a disgrace. Now go look in that mirror, wink at that handsome guy or gal winking back and say to yourself "you know what baby...you are awesome."
Bad things happen to awesome people too:
You are going to fail and things are not going to go your way. That's life. Even when you're so amazingly awesome you fail. You trip, you get bruised, but you get up. You dust yourself off, and you follow through. You keep being awesome, don't ever give that up.
People, friends even, are going to point out all of your flaws along the way. They are going to tell you a million reasons why you shouldn't expect anything good, and question every major decision you are about to make in your life. They are going to hit you when you are down and it is going to hurt like a son of a bitch. They do this because if you do actually become the person you want to be, then they might have to become the people they want to be too. And for most people that's a little bit too much to handle at the moment.
Everyone has anchors, ghosts and skeletons in the closet. But when you're awesome and not a victim but the perpetrator who is completely utterly in charge of everything that goes on around them, and prepared for whatever could not be perceived. You are going to untie your star from all of your prior baggage and soar off into the night sky with only the edges of the universe as your boundaries. And when you get there you will have a plan for them too, you're fairly certain.
Being awesome begins with you. Take another look in the mirror. You see yourself? Look at all of that awesomeness looking right back at you. Put this book down and go out there and start soaring. Don't take shit from anyone today, especially all of the haters. If anyone says anything negative to you today you put up a fight, and teach them some manners. You're the awesome one now. Well that's actually a lie, because you cannot be awesome until I teach you how to love yourself. Tomorrow come back and read the next chapter on loving yourself. And when you do really love yourself and put your new awesome personality on top of it, nothing will ever stop you.
Being Awesome:
Awesome is obviously slang for something being really great, or awe inspiring. Awesome is the word I use for myself. Ultimately I want you to have your own word for yourself that means something to you. But until you do, go ahead and use mine and be awesome. Say it right now. "My name is ________ and I am awesome."
You might already think you're pretty cool, even a little awesome. You might start thinking to yourself, I don't need to know how to love myself, I love myself pretty darn good come to think of it. You might be right, not everyone needs this book. Put it down, stop reading and go be amazing. Best of luck to you. As for the rest of us...
Being awesome has a lot in common with hitting a home run. I have hit 7 in my life time. Hitting a home run and being awesome in life have nothing to do with results and everything to do with follow through. You show up everyday, and you keep your form solid and eventually you hit one out of the park.
Awesome people don't have time to worry or fear. It is not that they don't feel those emotions but they have already made arrangements for them. If something is scary they are going to confront it, and if something is troubling them they are going to get to the bottom of it. And whenever something comes up they keep at it and always follow it through to the finish line.
They don't do it because they want the recognition that comes along with being impressive, they do it so that their mind is doubtless and an open canvass ready and in shape for self love.
That's why people should be awesome. Not to win an award, or a ribbon, or be the most popular kid on your block. But because you are awesome. And anything less from you would be a disgrace. Now go look in that mirror, wink at that handsome guy or gal winking back and say to yourself "you know what baby...you are awesome."
Bad things happen to awesome people too:
You are going to fail and things are not going to go your way. That's life. Even when you're so amazingly awesome you fail. You trip, you get bruised, but you get up. You dust yourself off, and you follow through. You keep being awesome, don't ever give that up.
People, friends even, are going to point out all of your flaws along the way. They are going to tell you a million reasons why you shouldn't expect anything good, and question every major decision you are about to make in your life. They are going to hit you when you are down and it is going to hurt like a son of a bitch. They do this because if you do actually become the person you want to be, then they might have to become the people they want to be too. And for most people that's a little bit too much to handle at the moment.
Everyone has anchors, ghosts and skeletons in the closet. But when you're awesome and not a victim but the perpetrator who is completely utterly in charge of everything that goes on around them, and prepared for whatever could not be perceived. You are going to untie your star from all of your prior baggage and soar off into the night sky with only the edges of the universe as your boundaries. And when you get there you will have a plan for them too, you're fairly certain.
Being awesome begins with you. Take another look in the mirror. You see yourself? Look at all of that awesomeness looking right back at you. Put this book down and go out there and start soaring. Don't take shit from anyone today, especially all of the haters. If anyone says anything negative to you today you put up a fight, and teach them some manners. You're the awesome one now. Well that's actually a lie, because you cannot be awesome until I teach you how to love yourself. Tomorrow come back and read the next chapter on loving yourself. And when you do really love yourself and put your new awesome personality on top of it, nothing will ever stop you.
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