If anyone still comes here, I don't have a regular day to day blog, but have started one about comedy at elevacions.blogspot.com
So check it out!
Monday, June 13, 2011
Monday, December 21, 2009
Have you ever seen spiders?
When this happens I just lay there cool as a cucumber drifting between an awake and dream state. My brain is fully active, and I can hear everything that is going on in the room I am asleep in. But at the same time I am also dreaming.
I have never had a bad sleep paralysis experience, but I have heard and read about tons of people having horrible ones. People that have this condition; often report having crazy dreams about demons sitting on their chests or about aliens coming into their bed to lay with them.
It has always been my prediction that they have these crazy dreams because they are really bothered by the fact that they cannot move, so they try to scare themselves awake. The reason that we cannot move is because when you go to sleep your body temporarily paralyzes itself so you do not try and physically act out your dreams. And in those of us who encounter sleep paralysis in our lifetimes, there is a slight chemical imbalance.
In my particular case, I'm never that bothered by the fact that I cannot move. I don't know why it doesn't bother me, but it doesn't. So I just lay there motionless, asleep and awake floating in my mind.
I would say that has been going on since 2002. And I'm not concerned about it in the least. But lately something else has been happening related to sleeping that has been making me think I'm crazy.
And tonight it happened again, so I decided to look up my symptoms on the internet and find out if anyone else was having these weird occurrences happen to them too. And now that I have read about 400 testimonials, and feel a little bit more normal, I will discuss what's been happening here.
About three hours ago, before I started reading these testimonials, I fell asleep. I woke up about fifteen minutes later, and was facing the wall. On the wall was a black orb that was moving towards me. The orb turned into a Black Spider and kept crawling toward my head. As I moved my head away, as to not get bitten, it disintegrated.
I wasn't freaked out in the least. This has been happening for quite some time. At least over a year, and possibly longer. It doesn't happen every time that I wake up, but it's a fairly frequent occurrence. Tonight was the first time that I thought I might be mentally unstable, that a spider that my mind has conjured up climbed down the wall and tried to bite me. But now that I have been reading about so many other people that it happens to, I feel better. We can't all be crazy can we?
I almost feel like I'm onto a mystery now. Perhaps the most fascinating mystery that I will ever work on and the most important. There are some interesting questions that I already have about this, and I think it's a mystery that will never be solved. Very little is known about sleep or the inner workings of the brain. And even if the technology caught up to the brain at some point, would it still be able to tell me why so many people, myself included, see black spiders when we wake up? I doubt it.
There is no medical answer for the question. That's what I have learned from the testimonials. There are just 500 of us or so that are seeing these damned things. Some of these people think it is a spiritual issue and not a medical one. Which I think is plausible. Not that I think giving my life to Jesus would make them go away, but perhaps there are some subconscious spiritual issues that I need to deal with, and until I do forever shall I see these unclean creatures.
Why are so many different people from different regions and different walks of life, seeing spiders? It's kind of freaky to think we are all seeing the exact same thing. And there are some people that are claiming they are seeing worse. They are seeing small persons, and dark spirits in their room. At least for now all I am seeing are the spiders. It could be worse I suppose. But I think it's a very significant clue that everyone who has this phenomenon is at least seeing spiders.
I personally think that what I'm really seeing is a black orb. I am seeing it for the same reason that I have sleep paralysis, because there is a slight chemical imbalance between my rem cycle and awakening. It's the exact opposite of when I'm having sleep paralysis. Instead of not being able to move, I can move completely and open my eyes, so my paralysis is gone but in some respect I am still dreaming.
That little black orb carries over from my dream land to my awakened state. And because of its size and shape my rational awake side of my brain thinks it must be a spider. And then my imagination makes it act like one. And when I completely wake up several seconds later, when my chemicals level, it disintegrates.
I hope this orb stays spider sized. Because that's what I think these people who can see larger visions are seeing. They just have more carry over chemical to the awakened side of their existence, so they can create larger dreams, day dreams in fact. Real day dreams with as many characters as may exist in a sleeping dream. Which is a terrifying, slightly provoking thought. Because if I have learned one thing from my sleep paralysis it is this: dreams are very frightening. Even the best friendly dreams have their insane mind shattering moments. Trust me the one little spider I see in the morning is enough to ruin my whole day. But what if an entire dream that you couldn't shut off haunted your every morning? That's a ride I'd like to take one time, maybe. Some of these people report that it takes up to thirty seconds for their chemicals to level. Thirty seconds in a dream is an eternity. Sometimes when I lay there paralyzed only a minute has gone by in reality, but I could swear I've been laying there for hours.
So that's my crazy sleep life, in general. What's your crazy sleep life like? What do you dream about? Have you ever had a lucid dream? I think we need to talk about these things. Do you have any thoughts about why I see black spiders when I wake up? I'd love to hear.
Saturday, November 28, 2009
An urban missile
And now....that you have that playing in the background.... onto urban missiles.........
I don't know how many of you smoke. Well that's not entirely true. I know exactly how many of the 4 people that read this blog smoke. But you don't blog for the blog you have. You blog for the blog you want ;)
Since none of you do, you might not know about throwing an atomic missile. You see smoking turns you into a monster. A cigarette flicking fire tossing 500 pound gorilla in the room is what you become. Smoking cigarettes numbs your mind to the fact that they're even on fire. You soon forget it as the addiction overtakes your common sense. And after a while you don't even notice what you're smoking around. Or even care for that matter, in any way.
So here's how it goes down. You're smoking on your father's oil rig in
Ok it never goes down that way. If it did you might start to care about where you toss your flaming step children. But for some reason cigarettes, I am human enough to report, never blow stuff up.
I don't know why they don't, but I have certainly seen enough field tests to know they will not ignite anything. I have, with wind guided precision, flicked a lit cigarette into a carburetor this morning. some twenty minutes ago mind you; having yet to hear an explosion.
I have also flicked my cigarette fire starters into especially dry forests and have yet to cause damage or harm to one. One time a lit cig fell right out of my mouth onto a wooden casket that I had just personally spilled alcohol on, and.... nothing. Well not exactly nothing; everyone got to see me run and cover.
I had a step grandmother who had a fire in her apartment one time when I was a child. I'm starting to think that the adults in my life just told me a cigarette started the fire, so I wouldn't consider smoking.
Seriously I have launched so many horrendous urban missiles that my right to smoke should be revoked. Seriously who smokes near a paper factory on a windy day? Who has put a cigarette out on his great grandmother's oxygen tank? Who picks up his hair spray factory girlfriend at work chiefing?
I do. The smoker. The dirty all powerful me. It's disheartening really to see every butt you toss, regardless of aim, end up in a dry leaf pile.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Big Black Epiphany
If it is my destiny to teach others how to love themselves, my own experience must be what I impart. Being awesome and loving yourself is not just my message, it is also my journey. It’s a path that I can only lead others down once I know the way myself. But I know it’s real, it has to be because I’m not just selling it I am living it.
The therapeutic power of admitting the following information to a wide audience about myself cannot be measured. It is invaluable. You do not have to admit anything to the world, but when you can admit something as equally distressing to yourself as I am about to admit to you, something amazing will happen. You will take action.
Just by admitting or acknowledging to yourself, that you’re very aware what goes on, starts a process. You may not fix what needs to be fixed, but you’ll start to figure out how to do it. When you’re awesome and you love yourself you make yourself submit from exhaustion, to be who you will become. It is going to be one hell of a fight. Round one is honesty. Here is my fight:
For my entire life I have easily become addicted to things. Until recently I thought the term “addictive personality” was kind of cute and not in any way a serious condition. I thought it only applied to alcohol, drugs, and preferences. For the most part I have been aware that I get addicted to things rather quickly. What I have failed to understand is how deep it actually goes.
With my addictive personality there is no bottom. It doesn’t stop it’s just a big black hole. And it’s not just a part of me, it is me. It is me completely. I am a hole, and I am dark and bottomless. And the more that I try and fit inside of me, the larger that hole becomes.
I just thought that having an addictive personality meant that I could get addicted to things easily. Things like cigarettes and chewing gum, and watermelon jolly ranchers. What I now believe to be true about my personality is that all of it is an addiction. My addictive personality is my personality. Everything I am and do is for or at least fueled by an addiction.
When I get a mosquito bite, I scratch it. It feels so good, why wouldn’t I scratch it? And I do not stop scratching, and scratching, and after a while I bleed. The way I treat my mosquito bites could surmise the way I interact with everything.
I am a user, and an abuser. I am quite possibly fake all the way thru to my core. I am a walking talking expanding addiction. I am a two hundred and thirty two pound self deprecating demon.
I think I have just realized my largest problem. And it’s a little scary, but at least I now know what I have to fix. I don’t really know how to fix this problem, because I have been living it for so long. I have 29 years of habits to evaluate and exterminate.
Do I even do what I want to do? Do I even like the things that I crave? Who am I, and why have I been asleep for so long?
I don’t know what your biggest flaw is. You might not either. But I do know until you admit it to yourself you will never truly be in self love. So you’d better figure it out, before you destroy yourself.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Global Warning!
I will never ever pay a carbon tax. I owe my allegiance to the Bill of Rights and the Constitution of the United States and no other entity. A carbon tax is almost as ridiculous as the idea of global warming. And I will tell you why.
Global Warming is a hoax. If you want to know why the globe on a whole has been warming for the past 100 years you need to look to the universe. The Solar System is warming, at exactly the same rate. If our industrialized world is warming at the same rate as the uninhabited space around it, are SUV’s and carbon dioxide really to blame?
There is only one reason that the climate in the Solar System is warming, and we call it the Sun. Every 500 years solar flare activity in the nucleus of the Sun increases. We don’t exactly know why it happens, but you can set your clock to it. During the 1500’s “Global Warming” was happening too.
Carbon is not the problem. Carbon is one of the four building blocks of life! That’s what they really want to tax, is life. We cannot give the power to tax a building block of all life to any government organization. Especially not to a multi-national organization!
Taxing carbon is a slippery slope, and it’s being sold to the people of the industrialized world as a step to save planet Earth. The modern green movement is a sham set up by Eugenicists a long time ago. They do not want to save the planet, they want to enslave it.
And when I say they, I do mean a multi national organization. Call them what you will, “A New World Order” “The Bilderbergs” call them what you will. A Carbon Tax is the first step toward a one world government.
Global Warming has never ever been proved. There are several international proclamations signed by thousands and thousands of Climatologists stating this exact fact. You can find any of them out online if you know how to work a common search engine.
Despite what Al Gore wants you to believe, it’s just not scientific fact. Here is a scientific inconvenient truth however, since Al Gore launched his movie, “An Inconvenient Truth” in 2006 he has earned more than a billion dollars for himself. He sold out to the highest bidder.
Senator Harry Reid has put the Carbon Tax bill on the docket for November 15th. It has already passed in the House of Representatives, and I fear it will narrowly in the Senate too. These could be the last few frail days of what used to be a truly great independent nation.
It may in fact be time to start asking yourself some very important questions about what being an American means to you. What line would the government have to incrementally cross before you did something? I for one am considering ex patriotism. As I fear a pestilence of apathy has already suffocated the possibility of a revolution.
Global Warming is a hoax. If you want to know why the globe on a whole has been warming for the past 100 years you need to look to the universe. The Solar System is warming, at exactly the same rate. If our industrialized world is warming at the same rate as the uninhabited space around it, are SUV’s and carbon dioxide really to blame?
There is only one reason that the climate in the Solar System is warming, and we call it the Sun. Every 500 years solar flare activity in the nucleus of the Sun increases. We don’t exactly know why it happens, but you can set your clock to it. During the 1500’s “Global Warming” was happening too.
Carbon is not the problem. Carbon is one of the four building blocks of life! That’s what they really want to tax, is life. We cannot give the power to tax a building block of all life to any government organization. Especially not to a multi-national organization!
Taxing carbon is a slippery slope, and it’s being sold to the people of the industrialized world as a step to save planet Earth. The modern green movement is a sham set up by Eugenicists a long time ago. They do not want to save the planet, they want to enslave it.
And when I say they, I do mean a multi national organization. Call them what you will, “A New World Order” “The Bilderbergs” call them what you will. A Carbon Tax is the first step toward a one world government.
Global Warming has never ever been proved. There are several international proclamations signed by thousands and thousands of Climatologists stating this exact fact. You can find any of them out online if you know how to work a common search engine.
Despite what Al Gore wants you to believe, it’s just not scientific fact. Here is a scientific inconvenient truth however, since Al Gore launched his movie, “An Inconvenient Truth” in 2006 he has earned more than a billion dollars for himself. He sold out to the highest bidder.
Senator Harry Reid has put the Carbon Tax bill on the docket for November 15th. It has already passed in the House of Representatives, and I fear it will narrowly in the Senate too. These could be the last few frail days of what used to be a truly great independent nation.
It may in fact be time to start asking yourself some very important questions about what being an American means to you. What line would the government have to incrementally cross before you did something? I for one am considering ex patriotism. As I fear a pestilence of apathy has already suffocated the possibility of a revolution.
Please Watch this Documentary
This is Alex Jones documentary called "Fall of the Republic: The Presidency of Barack Obama"
Do I believe everything in this documentary is 100% factual? No. I certainly do not, but I think there is plenty in here you should see and disseminate for yourself. Let it swirl around your brain for a while, and draw your own conclusions or research these topics further. Don't just automatically think something is true or false, find out for yourself.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Death, loss, and nothing you can do
The cruel hand of death has been all around a lot of people in my life lately. And while it has passed over my door this time, next time I may not be so lucky. I have suddenly been asked to be a shoulder to cry on for several close friends who are dealing with the loss of a loved one. What do you say? What can you do? The answer is, nothing.
There is nothing you can do after someone is gone to show them how much you love them. That is a hard pill to swallow for anyone, but we all must. When someone is gone, that's just where they are. There are no secret bridges or passage-ways to the other side.
Lately I have been thinking if I have been preparing myself for the loss of anyone. And I really don't think that I have been. If you love someone you better go and tell them. If you haven't talked to your grandmother who raised you, or your mother in a while, you better just go and do it.
That's really the only way to deal with death. Spend your life loving those who love you, and making the most of every today. Tomorrow may never come, you might not ever get that chance you've been hoping for.
I challenge you to call everyone who is important to you right now, and tell them why they are. Don't leave things up to fate, take control.
Be awesome and love those around you. And in turn you really will be loving yourself.
There is nothing you can do after someone is gone to show them how much you love them. That is a hard pill to swallow for anyone, but we all must. When someone is gone, that's just where they are. There are no secret bridges or passage-ways to the other side.
Lately I have been thinking if I have been preparing myself for the loss of anyone. And I really don't think that I have been. If you love someone you better go and tell them. If you haven't talked to your grandmother who raised you, or your mother in a while, you better just go and do it.
That's really the only way to deal with death. Spend your life loving those who love you, and making the most of every today. Tomorrow may never come, you might not ever get that chance you've been hoping for.
I challenge you to call everyone who is important to you right now, and tell them why they are. Don't leave things up to fate, take control.
Be awesome and love those around you. And in turn you really will be loving yourself.
Monday, September 7, 2009
The most wronged man in the history of planet earth
I have waited for over two years for it. My favorite player is back. I bet he's still awesome, and I bet he can still do everything that he used to do.
I don't want to stir the pot one more time, but I really think it's a shame that he had to miss the past two seasons. I have always been a believer and had his back.
In case you don't know he's the best player that has ever played the game. And here are ten plays to prove it.
I don't want to stir the pot one more time, but I really think it's a shame that he had to miss the past two seasons. I have always been a believer and had his back.
In case you don't know he's the best player that has ever played the game. And here are ten plays to prove it.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Chaos doesn't exist...
Have you been being awesome and loving yourselves? I know I have. I've had plenty of reasons to give up lately too. August of 2009 has left its mark on my vessel. No doubt about it, and I'm sure it hasn't been easy for all of you either.
But even in these darker of times we can practice self love and make it work. I have had my share of personal, social, and physical dilemmas lately. There has been plenty to worry, cry, and sweat about.
But it's really easy to be into self love when your chips are up. However, a true warrior on the path to being awesome, remains unshaken in lieu of the circumstances. A good thing that I like to remind myself of when my chips are low, is that chaos doesn't actually exist.
Perception is life. It's what it's all about. And if you understand that there is order in everything, then your perception can always be of your own choosing.
The only thing that makes a situation appear chaotic, is the lack of an assumed outcome. All situations have outcomes, even ones that make you stay up all night crying. Your little tiny worrying brain just needs to calm down, because everything is going to be alright. Because even when all the shit you can imagine has hit every fan in your house, you live on. There is order in chaos. Sometimes there is more order in a chaotic situation, than a serene one.
There is nothing to worry about. Whatever could happen, will or won't, and you will fall into order. Just as everything in the universe will obey the order of life, so must you.
So all you can really choose is what kind of attitude you will have. And nobody loves a sour puss.
So be amazing, take some risks, and keep following through.
But even in these darker of times we can practice self love and make it work. I have had my share of personal, social, and physical dilemmas lately. There has been plenty to worry, cry, and sweat about.
But it's really easy to be into self love when your chips are up. However, a true warrior on the path to being awesome, remains unshaken in lieu of the circumstances. A good thing that I like to remind myself of when my chips are low, is that chaos doesn't actually exist.
Perception is life. It's what it's all about. And if you understand that there is order in everything, then your perception can always be of your own choosing.
The only thing that makes a situation appear chaotic, is the lack of an assumed outcome. All situations have outcomes, even ones that make you stay up all night crying. Your little tiny worrying brain just needs to calm down, because everything is going to be alright. Because even when all the shit you can imagine has hit every fan in your house, you live on. There is order in chaos. Sometimes there is more order in a chaotic situation, than a serene one.
There is nothing to worry about. Whatever could happen, will or won't, and you will fall into order. Just as everything in the universe will obey the order of life, so must you.
So all you can really choose is what kind of attitude you will have. And nobody loves a sour puss.
So be amazing, take some risks, and keep following through.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
The Year of the old girl friend.
I have unofficially declared 2009 the Year of the Old Girl Friend. They have really been coming out of the woodwork lately. Calling from different states and shit just to talk to me.
What's even more ironic about the situation is I never ever once thought that I had a good break up. It seems like the girl and I just sort of stopped seeing and talking all together. I never thought I was doing any of this intentionally but I thought I'd play along with it to make everything seem cool.
What is it about the sound of an old flame's voice that can take you back in some sort of time machine? Instantly you're 16 or 24 again and you're right back there. You are for a moment even emotionally back there.
I'm hearing good things about the old me I guess. I was always good to them, treated them right; the sort of things you'd want to hear from an old gal pal. But I dunno it just makes me think of all the reasons it didn't work out. It's a very nice happy way to start a good sad thought.
What's even more ironic about the situation is I never ever once thought that I had a good break up. It seems like the girl and I just sort of stopped seeing and talking all together. I never thought I was doing any of this intentionally but I thought I'd play along with it to make everything seem cool.
What is it about the sound of an old flame's voice that can take you back in some sort of time machine? Instantly you're 16 or 24 again and you're right back there. You are for a moment even emotionally back there.
I'm hearing good things about the old me I guess. I was always good to them, treated them right; the sort of things you'd want to hear from an old gal pal. But I dunno it just makes me think of all the reasons it didn't work out. It's a very nice happy way to start a good sad thought.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Loving yourself
Why do I want to be awesome and love myself?:
You might be asking yourself why any of this is relevant. And to be completely honest I don't have a really good answer for you. I'm sure there are billions of humans that have already lived and died who didn't ever love themselves. Or there were people who loved themselves to a certain point but than jettisoned their own passion for some reason or other.
My belief is that when you love yourself unconditionally, and strive to be awesome every waking moment that only then are you working at your fullest potential. You may not be depressed about yourself or your situation in life. You may perceive everything to be fine and comfortable. And you might be right. I'm asking you to find out for yourself. Along the way you might find that you've been living exactly the way you should be all along. And if that's all you get out of this book, wouldn't that be great enough? I think it would. Even better what if you discovered something(s) about yourself along the way?
The very best reason that you need to start loving yourself is because nobody is going to do it for you. There is only one "me" in every one's life. And it's a very important person to be. There is nobody that can love you like you. And you will be the greatest love of your life. And you will allow yourself to live unashamedly and reap all that you sow.
Who am I?:
You have been living with your self for a very long time, and you probably have no idea who you even are. There are so many demands of living in a society there is almost no time to be an individual. Especially in a modern society where anyone can text, call or page you almost instantly.
You have to make some time to be alone. You have to love being alone. Because it's the time you'll get to be spending with the greatest love of your life. I have never been a person who has hated being alone. I know a lot of people who are very against the idea however. But you have to make some time to get to know yourself and fall in love with yourself a little more every day.
I like to take myself out on dates. A nice stroll through the library with yourself is very relaxing. Myself and I we love going to the video arcade together, and we have seen some pretty great sunsets in the park. This idea may seem a little silly at first, but if you would try it I think you'd be pleasantly surprised at how much fun the two of you can have on your own.
Why am I trying to date myself?:
Yourself and you have been fighting ever since you were born. You are a walking contradiction between the person you choose to be and the person you are. Don't you think it's time to re-examine some of the choices you've made? Maybe the person you are knows something too.
That's what myself and I spend a lot of time with. Who are we? It's a very big question, and an even more important conversation to be having. Especially with someone who unconditionally supports you. There is actually no other person you could be having this conversation with.
Hopefully when you really do find out who you are, and who you're trying to be you can make some compromises. You can reach an apex of the individual you are and the socialite you feel you have to be.
Everyone lies to themselves:
It is such a silly thing actually. Lying is so easy to do we don't even think about it sometimes when we do it. We learned how to do it as children and we've been doing it ever since. A little white lie here, a slightly larger one there it's so easy! Everyone believes pretty much anything you tell them.
The only problem is when you've become so adept at lying, as we all are, you start to forget you're even telling them or who you're telling them to. Pretty soon, sure enough you're lying to yourself.
The main problem with lying to yourself is that you are yourself. You will believe your own mind over any other source of knowledge. Even in spite of contrary evidence your gut always knows best.
When you love someone and I mean really truly love them you cannot lie to them. Because if you did really love them like you say you do you would be willing to talk to them about the hard things too.
It's very easy to avoid conversations with those close around you. Some people might even prefer to keep being lied to just to keep the smoothness of it all. Life isn't always about being smooth though. When you love someone you bring up those things because you want what's best for them.
And when the greatest love of your life needs a cold dose of the truth you need to tell it. How can you love yourself if you're not even brave enough to admit that you've told him/her lies?
If you want to love yourself like I want you to love yourself this might be a good time to admit some of the times you've lied to yourself. And it's ok to cry I won't tell anyone and neither will yourself.
Now that you've had a good cry(don't worry there will be more) STOP LYING TO YOURSELF DUMMY! And when you're ready to stop lying we'll move on.
You might be asking yourself why any of this is relevant. And to be completely honest I don't have a really good answer for you. I'm sure there are billions of humans that have already lived and died who didn't ever love themselves. Or there were people who loved themselves to a certain point but than jettisoned their own passion for some reason or other.
My belief is that when you love yourself unconditionally, and strive to be awesome every waking moment that only then are you working at your fullest potential. You may not be depressed about yourself or your situation in life. You may perceive everything to be fine and comfortable. And you might be right. I'm asking you to find out for yourself. Along the way you might find that you've been living exactly the way you should be all along. And if that's all you get out of this book, wouldn't that be great enough? I think it would. Even better what if you discovered something(s) about yourself along the way?
The very best reason that you need to start loving yourself is because nobody is going to do it for you. There is only one "me" in every one's life. And it's a very important person to be. There is nobody that can love you like you. And you will be the greatest love of your life. And you will allow yourself to live unashamedly and reap all that you sow.
Who am I?:
You have been living with your self for a very long time, and you probably have no idea who you even are. There are so many demands of living in a society there is almost no time to be an individual. Especially in a modern society where anyone can text, call or page you almost instantly.
You have to make some time to be alone. You have to love being alone. Because it's the time you'll get to be spending with the greatest love of your life. I have never been a person who has hated being alone. I know a lot of people who are very against the idea however. But you have to make some time to get to know yourself and fall in love with yourself a little more every day.
I like to take myself out on dates. A nice stroll through the library with yourself is very relaxing. Myself and I we love going to the video arcade together, and we have seen some pretty great sunsets in the park. This idea may seem a little silly at first, but if you would try it I think you'd be pleasantly surprised at how much fun the two of you can have on your own.
Why am I trying to date myself?:
Yourself and you have been fighting ever since you were born. You are a walking contradiction between the person you choose to be and the person you are. Don't you think it's time to re-examine some of the choices you've made? Maybe the person you are knows something too.
That's what myself and I spend a lot of time with. Who are we? It's a very big question, and an even more important conversation to be having. Especially with someone who unconditionally supports you. There is actually no other person you could be having this conversation with.
Hopefully when you really do find out who you are, and who you're trying to be you can make some compromises. You can reach an apex of the individual you are and the socialite you feel you have to be.
Everyone lies to themselves:
It is such a silly thing actually. Lying is so easy to do we don't even think about it sometimes when we do it. We learned how to do it as children and we've been doing it ever since. A little white lie here, a slightly larger one there it's so easy! Everyone believes pretty much anything you tell them.
The only problem is when you've become so adept at lying, as we all are, you start to forget you're even telling them or who you're telling them to. Pretty soon, sure enough you're lying to yourself.
The main problem with lying to yourself is that you are yourself. You will believe your own mind over any other source of knowledge. Even in spite of contrary evidence your gut always knows best.
When you love someone and I mean really truly love them you cannot lie to them. Because if you did really love them like you say you do you would be willing to talk to them about the hard things too.
It's very easy to avoid conversations with those close around you. Some people might even prefer to keep being lied to just to keep the smoothness of it all. Life isn't always about being smooth though. When you love someone you bring up those things because you want what's best for them.
And when the greatest love of your life needs a cold dose of the truth you need to tell it. How can you love yourself if you're not even brave enough to admit that you've told him/her lies?
If you want to love yourself like I want you to love yourself this might be a good time to admit some of the times you've lied to yourself. And it's ok to cry I won't tell anyone and neither will yourself.
Now that you've had a good cry(don't worry there will be more) STOP LYING TO YOURSELF DUMMY! And when you're ready to stop lying we'll move on.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Being Awesome and Loving Yourself
Over the next few weeks I'm going to be work shopping the next new thing for me. It's a book called "Being Awesome and Loving Yourself." I'm not going to post the book here, but I'm going to use this blog as a brainstorm environment for themes and ideas that will ultimately make up the meat and potatoes of my book....at least we'll get some blogs out of it anyway.
Being Awesome:
Awesome is obviously slang for something being really great, or awe inspiring. Awesome is the word I use for myself. Ultimately I want you to have your own word for yourself that means something to you. But until you do, go ahead and use mine and be awesome. Say it right now. "My name is ________ and I am awesome."
You might already think you're pretty cool, even a little awesome. You might start thinking to yourself, I don't need to know how to love myself, I love myself pretty darn good come to think of it. You might be right, not everyone needs this book. Put it down, stop reading and go be amazing. Best of luck to you. As for the rest of us...
Being awesome has a lot in common with hitting a home run. I have hit 7 in my life time. Hitting a home run and being awesome in life have nothing to do with results and everything to do with follow through. You show up everyday, and you keep your form solid and eventually you hit one out of the park.
Awesome people don't have time to worry or fear. It is not that they don't feel those emotions but they have already made arrangements for them. If something is scary they are going to confront it, and if something is troubling them they are going to get to the bottom of it. And whenever something comes up they keep at it and always follow it through to the finish line.
They don't do it because they want the recognition that comes along with being impressive, they do it so that their mind is doubtless and an open canvass ready and in shape for self love.
That's why people should be awesome. Not to win an award, or a ribbon, or be the most popular kid on your block. But because you are awesome. And anything less from you would be a disgrace. Now go look in that mirror, wink at that handsome guy or gal winking back and say to yourself "you know what baby...you are awesome."
Bad things happen to awesome people too:
You are going to fail and things are not going to go your way. That's life. Even when you're so amazingly awesome you fail. You trip, you get bruised, but you get up. You dust yourself off, and you follow through. You keep being awesome, don't ever give that up.
People, friends even, are going to point out all of your flaws along the way. They are going to tell you a million reasons why you shouldn't expect anything good, and question every major decision you are about to make in your life. They are going to hit you when you are down and it is going to hurt like a son of a bitch. They do this because if you do actually become the person you want to be, then they might have to become the people they want to be too. And for most people that's a little bit too much to handle at the moment.
Everyone has anchors, ghosts and skeletons in the closet. But when you're awesome and not a victim but the perpetrator who is completely utterly in charge of everything that goes on around them, and prepared for whatever could not be perceived. You are going to untie your star from all of your prior baggage and soar off into the night sky with only the edges of the universe as your boundaries. And when you get there you will have a plan for them too, you're fairly certain.
Being awesome begins with you. Take another look in the mirror. You see yourself? Look at all of that awesomeness looking right back at you. Put this book down and go out there and start soaring. Don't take shit from anyone today, especially all of the haters. If anyone says anything negative to you today you put up a fight, and teach them some manners. You're the awesome one now. Well that's actually a lie, because you cannot be awesome until I teach you how to love yourself. Tomorrow come back and read the next chapter on loving yourself. And when you do really love yourself and put your new awesome personality on top of it, nothing will ever stop you.
Being Awesome:
Awesome is obviously slang for something being really great, or awe inspiring. Awesome is the word I use for myself. Ultimately I want you to have your own word for yourself that means something to you. But until you do, go ahead and use mine and be awesome. Say it right now. "My name is ________ and I am awesome."
You might already think you're pretty cool, even a little awesome. You might start thinking to yourself, I don't need to know how to love myself, I love myself pretty darn good come to think of it. You might be right, not everyone needs this book. Put it down, stop reading and go be amazing. Best of luck to you. As for the rest of us...
Being awesome has a lot in common with hitting a home run. I have hit 7 in my life time. Hitting a home run and being awesome in life have nothing to do with results and everything to do with follow through. You show up everyday, and you keep your form solid and eventually you hit one out of the park.
Awesome people don't have time to worry or fear. It is not that they don't feel those emotions but they have already made arrangements for them. If something is scary they are going to confront it, and if something is troubling them they are going to get to the bottom of it. And whenever something comes up they keep at it and always follow it through to the finish line.
They don't do it because they want the recognition that comes along with being impressive, they do it so that their mind is doubtless and an open canvass ready and in shape for self love.
That's why people should be awesome. Not to win an award, or a ribbon, or be the most popular kid on your block. But because you are awesome. And anything less from you would be a disgrace. Now go look in that mirror, wink at that handsome guy or gal winking back and say to yourself "you know what baby...you are awesome."
Bad things happen to awesome people too:
You are going to fail and things are not going to go your way. That's life. Even when you're so amazingly awesome you fail. You trip, you get bruised, but you get up. You dust yourself off, and you follow through. You keep being awesome, don't ever give that up.
People, friends even, are going to point out all of your flaws along the way. They are going to tell you a million reasons why you shouldn't expect anything good, and question every major decision you are about to make in your life. They are going to hit you when you are down and it is going to hurt like a son of a bitch. They do this because if you do actually become the person you want to be, then they might have to become the people they want to be too. And for most people that's a little bit too much to handle at the moment.
Everyone has anchors, ghosts and skeletons in the closet. But when you're awesome and not a victim but the perpetrator who is completely utterly in charge of everything that goes on around them, and prepared for whatever could not be perceived. You are going to untie your star from all of your prior baggage and soar off into the night sky with only the edges of the universe as your boundaries. And when you get there you will have a plan for them too, you're fairly certain.
Being awesome begins with you. Take another look in the mirror. You see yourself? Look at all of that awesomeness looking right back at you. Put this book down and go out there and start soaring. Don't take shit from anyone today, especially all of the haters. If anyone says anything negative to you today you put up a fight, and teach them some manners. You're the awesome one now. Well that's actually a lie, because you cannot be awesome until I teach you how to love yourself. Tomorrow come back and read the next chapter on loving yourself. And when you do really love yourself and put your new awesome personality on top of it, nothing will ever stop you.
Friday, June 26, 2009
So I'm getting a haircut
My regular barber was way too busy to fit me in today. Which was fine. I just went down the street to a Supercuts which has offered up satisfactory service in the past. Usually I enjoy the Supercuts experience, there are usually young beautiful women waiting there to cut your hair and take all of your tip money.
Not today.... Today there were haggardly old women working at the Supercuts. I was wondering if the recent downturn in the economy has seen all of the younger more human ones go away, due to lack of hours or seniority. I didn't really know how to ask the question without being rude..."So where did all the hot chicks go?" So I sat there quietly and thumbed a Maxim.
Right before it was my turn this 30 something Indian woman came in to work her shift. I was to be her first hair-cut of the day, and she didn't really look....awake. I was in a rush and I'm actually quite an agreeable person, so I didn't mind that she was waking up on the clock so long as we got the job done.
As I'm explaining to her my intentions for my hair, she took the reigns. I never know what I really want anyway. Usually when it's one of the younger broads we just flirt and talk for a bit, and then they decide what looks best on my head. Although they ask me questions about the hair along way and we come to some sort of mutual agreement toward the finish line.
With this lady whose name was something like Zuta or something like that, it was going to be a different affair entirely. She told me how it was going to be, and what was going to be done and where to put my feet. When I slouched, or even attempted a conversation she let it be known that we were having none of that.
And I kind of liked it. I liked her controlling ways. I guess I'm more submissive than I thought. At the end of it all I didn't even like the hair cut, but I liked how I was treated.
I left there wet and pleased. I even tipped her. Thanks Zuta (?) for letting me know that I like to be handled.
Not today.... Today there were haggardly old women working at the Supercuts. I was wondering if the recent downturn in the economy has seen all of the younger more human ones go away, due to lack of hours or seniority. I didn't really know how to ask the question without being rude..."So where did all the hot chicks go?" So I sat there quietly and thumbed a Maxim.
Right before it was my turn this 30 something Indian woman came in to work her shift. I was to be her first hair-cut of the day, and she didn't really look....awake. I was in a rush and I'm actually quite an agreeable person, so I didn't mind that she was waking up on the clock so long as we got the job done.
As I'm explaining to her my intentions for my hair, she took the reigns. I never know what I really want anyway. Usually when it's one of the younger broads we just flirt and talk for a bit, and then they decide what looks best on my head. Although they ask me questions about the hair along way and we come to some sort of mutual agreement toward the finish line.
With this lady whose name was something like Zuta or something like that, it was going to be a different affair entirely. She told me how it was going to be, and what was going to be done and where to put my feet. When I slouched, or even attempted a conversation she let it be known that we were having none of that.
And I kind of liked it. I liked her controlling ways. I guess I'm more submissive than I thought. At the end of it all I didn't even like the hair cut, but I liked how I was treated.
I left there wet and pleased. I even tipped her. Thanks Zuta (?) for letting me know that I like to be handled.
Monday, June 15, 2009
My Mom reads my blog everyday
Everyday since March 20th my Mom has been reading my blog. She is my most consistent reader and I love her very much.
So I'm writing this because I know it will make her smile. But she doesn't get off that easy. Here's a picture I took of her in her favorite reading chair.
love you...
So I'm writing this because I know it will make her smile. But she doesn't get off that easy. Here's a picture I took of her in her favorite reading chair.
love you...
Saturday, May 30, 2009
I fell and then laughed about it
Just some small updates because I haven't posted in a while.
I went to Chico CA last weekend, and had a blast. Got to play harmonica with a few people and play guitar and sing for people in Bidwell Park for the better part of two hours. Chico is my kind of town. Everyone I met there played an instrument and drank beer. I will probably retire there one day.
After I got back from the Chico trip I went to a small kegger here in Sacramento. Where we arranged to have about 14 instruments all get together to form the largest porch band ever. I would have to say the star of the show was a lady who came by from off the street with a fiddle. She was amazing. I would have never guessed how cool a fiddle could be.
When I left that party with a buddy of mine I decided that I needed to take a shower back at my apartment. During that shower (I was pretty wasted) I slipped and fell hard. At the time I was laughing and laughing. I always laugh when I fall for some reason. Since then my left quadriceps has been pulled and it looks like I was shank ed through prison style on my back.
The next day I went and played 30 holes of disc golf and I've still got it. I was spinning Big Nasty's down the course left and right. My putting game was deadly too. I hadn't played in over a year, but I guess muscle memory is thicker than thieves.
Also I picked up that UFC Undisputed game for the XBOX 360 which is one of the best things I have ever done for myself. It is teaching me Brazilian Ju Jitsu. You need to get this game and play it. Do it for yourself. Because you're dark and you like blood.
I guess this isn't much of a post, but I'm bored at work and it works for me.
Good times noodle salad.
I went to Chico CA last weekend, and had a blast. Got to play harmonica with a few people and play guitar and sing for people in Bidwell Park for the better part of two hours. Chico is my kind of town. Everyone I met there played an instrument and drank beer. I will probably retire there one day.
After I got back from the Chico trip I went to a small kegger here in Sacramento. Where we arranged to have about 14 instruments all get together to form the largest porch band ever. I would have to say the star of the show was a lady who came by from off the street with a fiddle. She was amazing. I would have never guessed how cool a fiddle could be.
When I left that party with a buddy of mine I decided that I needed to take a shower back at my apartment. During that shower (I was pretty wasted) I slipped and fell hard. At the time I was laughing and laughing. I always laugh when I fall for some reason. Since then my left quadriceps has been pulled and it looks like I was shank ed through prison style on my back.
The next day I went and played 30 holes of disc golf and I've still got it. I was spinning Big Nasty's down the course left and right. My putting game was deadly too. I hadn't played in over a year, but I guess muscle memory is thicker than thieves.
Also I picked up that UFC Undisputed game for the XBOX 360 which is one of the best things I have ever done for myself. It is teaching me Brazilian Ju Jitsu. You need to get this game and play it. Do it for yourself. Because you're dark and you like blood.
I guess this isn't much of a post, but I'm bored at work and it works for me.
Good times noodle salad.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Take 7 minutes
Having just been through a situation with a few people who I will not out here, I realized a very important part of life.
When something that was very important to you doesn't work out the way you exactly wanted it to, you need to react. If you don't then the little reptile that lives inside of you is still going to react anyway. You may as well try to get him to react on your terms, rather than his. He's got big jaws and can kill without hesitation. So you need to teach him not to over react. You need to fully come to terms with the amount of carnage he wants to do.
When you try and cage the beast in your body. He will soon turn into an angry bitter beast capable of just about anything. He will sit around and plot out schemes taking up all of your day in pensive contemplative pestilence.
Until the day you realize a little too lately that the cage can no longer contain the violent animal. So you have to grab it by it's mouth and try to fight him off. But he is already so powerful and mighty. He pins you to the floor devouring you in minutes.
And now you can't tell any bit apart. None reptilian nor human. You walk and talk and act like he and him you. And then you go on a killing spree. Maybe you don't commit murder, but you murder a relationship, friendship or social contract. Because you've become an unthinking lizard. One so confused he knows only to protect himself.
When a pile of shit could best describe the highlight of your day you need to take seven minutes. Seven minutes of havoc, consequences free. Screaming at the top of your lungs the entire time.
The beast gets tired. Too tired to fight, droopy eyed he wanders back into the box willingly and forgets all.
You're dark dummy! It's the reason you sleep. Be Dark sometimes.
-AND SCENE!
When something that was very important to you doesn't work out the way you exactly wanted it to, you need to react. If you don't then the little reptile that lives inside of you is still going to react anyway. You may as well try to get him to react on your terms, rather than his. He's got big jaws and can kill without hesitation. So you need to teach him not to over react. You need to fully come to terms with the amount of carnage he wants to do.
When you try and cage the beast in your body. He will soon turn into an angry bitter beast capable of just about anything. He will sit around and plot out schemes taking up all of your day in pensive contemplative pestilence.
Until the day you realize a little too lately that the cage can no longer contain the violent animal. So you have to grab it by it's mouth and try to fight him off. But he is already so powerful and mighty. He pins you to the floor devouring you in minutes.
And now you can't tell any bit apart. None reptilian nor human. You walk and talk and act like he and him you. And then you go on a killing spree. Maybe you don't commit murder, but you murder a relationship, friendship or social contract. Because you've become an unthinking lizard. One so confused he knows only to protect himself.
When a pile of shit could best describe the highlight of your day you need to take seven minutes. Seven minutes of havoc, consequences free. Screaming at the top of your lungs the entire time.
The beast gets tired. Too tired to fight, droopy eyed he wanders back into the box willingly and forgets all.
You're dark dummy! It's the reason you sleep. Be Dark sometimes.
-AND SCENE!
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
My brand new evolving survey.
I didn't find this survey anywhere. I just made it up. In fact you need to help me create it. That's the twist on my survey. You have to add your own 8 questions to it, and pass it on. Let's see how big it can get.
1. What is something we’ll never hear you say?
I'm going to become a famous armpit model.
2. When you’re a rich famous millionaire your house will have one wacky room that a normal house wouldn’t…. what is that room?
The room of a thousand chairs.
3. Have you ever broken anything? (Promises and bones count.)
One time I signed my name on my grandmother's really expensive table. I etched it in with a pencil. She was so mad. So mad, she's probably still mad.
4. How close have you been to bearing children?
Uhhh, I've been close. I've also had a girl I was sleeping with become pregnant and keep the child. Thankfully she was sleeping with the father at the same time as me. That was such a scary time. Wondering if the child was mine. And seeing her walk around all pregnant.
5. If you could pick your parents who would they be?
Well I'd have to go with A Walrus and a Donkey. Sure I'd be ugly but I'd be hung.
6. If you could pick a celebrity best friend who would it be and what is something you and said CBF would do occasionally?
Hands down it would be Christopher Walken, and every Saturday night we would hit up a really popular dance club and have dance offs.
7. You’ve just been abducted by aliens what’s one thing you hope to get to do with them?
I hope they let me stick around long enough to do some abducting and probing of my own. If not I hope they let me steer the ship for a trip around the Milky Way.
8. The city you live in has just elected you chairman of the city renaming committee what are some possibilities you will put fourth on the ballot?
This town sucks.
Monkeyville
The Dark Hole
Move Away From This City.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ok so now you have to add 8 questions to it and post it somewhere. Do it.
1. What is something we’ll never hear you say?
I'm going to become a famous armpit model.
2. When you’re a rich famous millionaire your house will have one wacky room that a normal house wouldn’t…. what is that room?
The room of a thousand chairs.
3. Have you ever broken anything? (Promises and bones count.)
One time I signed my name on my grandmother's really expensive table. I etched it in with a pencil. She was so mad. So mad, she's probably still mad.
4. How close have you been to bearing children?
Uhhh, I've been close. I've also had a girl I was sleeping with become pregnant and keep the child. Thankfully she was sleeping with the father at the same time as me. That was such a scary time. Wondering if the child was mine. And seeing her walk around all pregnant.
5. If you could pick your parents who would they be?
Well I'd have to go with A Walrus and a Donkey. Sure I'd be ugly but I'd be hung.
6. If you could pick a celebrity best friend who would it be and what is something you and said CBF would do occasionally?
Hands down it would be Christopher Walken, and every Saturday night we would hit up a really popular dance club and have dance offs.
7. You’ve just been abducted by aliens what’s one thing you hope to get to do with them?
I hope they let me stick around long enough to do some abducting and probing of my own. If not I hope they let me steer the ship for a trip around the Milky Way.
8. The city you live in has just elected you chairman of the city renaming committee what are some possibilities you will put fourth on the ballot?
This town sucks.
Monkeyville
The Dark Hole
Move Away From This City.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ok so now you have to add 8 questions to it and post it somewhere. Do it.
65 Questions and some bees.
Umm I don't exactly know how to put this. I just had to leave my apartment and go get some bee spray. There was a bald face hornet the size of a humming bird and 4 yellow jackets fighting in my bathroom. The weird thing is I didn't notice them until after I was done taking a piss. I've never been so scared in my entire life. I just hosed my entire bathroom down with Wasp and Hornet spray. That stuff kills quickly. In fact I'm feeling a little faint myself. I'm sure it will pass.
Two lovely ladies wanted me to do this survey so while I'm waiting for the slightly weird embrace of bee spray high to wear off, I will indulge them.
1. First thing you wash in the shower?
My chest, it's really easy to reach.
2. What color is your favorite hoodie?
It's dark blue and it says ANALOG on the front. I look like a thug in it.
3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
If I could even remember who that was, I bet I wouldn't.
4. Do you plan outfits?
No men can't be slowed down by such things.
5. How are you feeling RIGHT now?
I am feeling a little proud of myself for killing the bees. I was actually going to hit the hornet with a shoe. I had it in my hand for about five minutes just staring at that thing in the eyes. I'm so glad I decided to go buy chemicals. I would have probably missed him and been stung and bitten.
6. What’s the closest thing to you that's red?
A small capsule of Old Spice.
7. Tell me about the last dream you remember having:
My last dream was totally nut-tacular. However the details are escaping me. When I remember one part I forget another. I think it has to do with dreams existing in the frontal lobes and consciousness existing in the rear.
8. Did you meet anybody new today?
Do giant bees count?
9. What are you craving right now?
A shower. Where I will almost certainly be washing my chest first.
10. Do you floss daily?
That's kind of personal.
11. What comes to mind when I say cabbage?
Cabbage Patch Kids trading cards.
12. Are you emotional?
I am. Yes I am, and if feels good to admit it. *Gets teary*
13. Have you ever counted to 1,000?
I usually fall asleep around 187.
14. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it?
I bite into but only after trying my best just to lick it. It happens every time, but usually it tastes so good that licking it just doesn't seem to do it for me. Neither does biting. I don't exactly know what I want to do with the ice cream, maybe make out with it, or cover myself in it.
15. Do you like your hair?
I have great hair.
16. Do you like yourself?
Yes but I'm starting to hate a few of my bad habits.
17. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush?
Yes he likes sports and so do I. I would love to watch a ballgame with him at hooters.
18. What are you listening to right now?
My new dirty little secret : Death Cab for Cutie. I'm trying to learn how to play soul meets body on guitar.
19. Are your parents strict?
No. Two of most genuinely laid back individuals you'd ever have to pleasure to meet.
20. Would you go sky diving?
I would need to be pushed and shoved out of the plane, but yea lets do this!
21. Do you like cottage cheese?
Nope. But dogs do.
22. Have you ever met a celebrity?
Yes and I'll drop those names now. Robert Duval, Sheryl Crow, Lance Armstrong, George Lopez, Arnold Schwarzneger, Dick Cheney, The lead singer of the Kaiser Cheifs, George Thurgood, and my personal favorite moment of all time was smoking a cigarette with Forrest Whitaker.
23. Do you rent movies often?
Can't say that I do.
24. Is there anything sparkly in the room you're in?
The sunlight is hitting the back of a DVDR just right, and yes it is actually sparkling.
25. How many countries have you visited?
4-5
26. Have you made a prank phone call?
It used to be one of my favorite things to do. Why did I ever stop? Oh yea...caller ID
27. Ever been on a train?
Yup but only at mueseums and stuff never one that was taking me anywhere. I've always thought it would be cool to go around the country on a train though.
28. Brown or white eggs?
Whatever you're making.
29.Do you have a cell-phone?
Yes I do. And we're in love.
30. Do you use chap stick?
Not really. Only when my lips are so apparently chapped that they're bleeding. Ok that was a joke, but you get what I mean.
31. Do you own a gun?
Nope but I've got it all picked out. I want a .44 caliber.
32. Can you use chop sticks?
Yea but only to drum on the salt and pepper shakers.
33. Who are you going to be with tonight?
My good buddy Mike and his family.
34. Are you too forgiving?
Nope I am just the perfect amount of forgiving.
35. Ever been in love?
Probably not. That sucks I know, but I'm being honest.
36. What is your best friend(s) doing tomorrow?
He's in Amsterdam right now. Probably sight seeing.
37. Ever have cream puffs?
I don't exactly know what that is.
38. Last time you cried?
When I got dropped off at the airport by my Mom last month.
39. What was the last question you asked?
"Who else has been working on this computer?"
40. Favorite time of the year?
I'm a fally. Football and girls in sweaters. And football and cold rain, and muddy football.
41. Do you have any tattoos?
I have two tattoos. A famous stick figure on my left shoulder, and the theatre masks on my right shoulder blade.
42. Are you sarcastic?
Nooooooo, I'm not.
43. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect?
Yes. What a great movie! Seriously Amelia watch it!
44. Ever walked into a wall?
Yea they're sneaky.
45. Favorite color?
Blue
46. Have you ever slapped someone?
Yes but she asked me to.
47. Is your hair curly?
No it's pretty straight.
48. What was the last CD you bought?
Well I just downloaded Death Cab for Cutie's entire discography, so we'll go with that. I haven't payed for a cd since 2002. It was probably Chevelle's self titled album.
49. Do looks matter?
I'm starting to think that they don't. And I'm finding myself more and more addicted to chubby women than I'm frankly comfortable with.
50. Could you ever forgive a cheater?
Yea but I'd rather not.
51. Is your phone bill sky high?
I don't gab on it a lot during non free times, so nope. And I gots millions of roll over minutes.
52. Do you like your life right now?
I want to change it so badly. I'm stuck. If you're reading this, rescue me!
53. Do you sleep with the TV on?
Yes I have to.
54. Can you handle the truth?
Yea I can, but I'm better at hiding from it, or running from it.
55. Do you have good vision?
20/10 baby.
56. Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people?
I don't know how many Arabs are there? That made me laugh so hard. You laughed to admit it.
57. How often do you talk on the phone?
With the right person I can talk for a very very long time.
58. The last person you held hands with?
???
59. What are you wearing?
Jeans and a red shirt.
60.What is your favorite animal?
I like cats and dogs and humans.
61. Where was your default picture taken at?
In my bathroom.
62. Can you hula hoop?
The last time I tried I was pretty good. With all of the dancing I've been doing I'm getting better at hip eye cordination. I bet I could kill a hula hoop right now.
63. Do you have a job?
Yes I do. I work for Presentation Services. I've been there going on four years now. I think they're poisoning the water, I usually quit jobs after about two months.
64. What was the most recent thing you bought?
Raid Wasp and Hornet death in a can.
65. Have you ever crawled through a window?
Have I? *smiles*
Two lovely ladies wanted me to do this survey so while I'm waiting for the slightly weird embrace of bee spray high to wear off, I will indulge them.
1. First thing you wash in the shower?
My chest, it's really easy to reach.
2. What color is your favorite hoodie?
It's dark blue and it says ANALOG on the front. I look like a thug in it.
3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
If I could even remember who that was, I bet I wouldn't.
4. Do you plan outfits?
No men can't be slowed down by such things.
5. How are you feeling RIGHT now?
I am feeling a little proud of myself for killing the bees. I was actually going to hit the hornet with a shoe. I had it in my hand for about five minutes just staring at that thing in the eyes. I'm so glad I decided to go buy chemicals. I would have probably missed him and been stung and bitten.
6. What’s the closest thing to you that's red?
A small capsule of Old Spice.
7. Tell me about the last dream you remember having:
My last dream was totally nut-tacular. However the details are escaping me. When I remember one part I forget another. I think it has to do with dreams existing in the frontal lobes and consciousness existing in the rear.
8. Did you meet anybody new today?
Do giant bees count?
9. What are you craving right now?
A shower. Where I will almost certainly be washing my chest first.
10. Do you floss daily?
That's kind of personal.
11. What comes to mind when I say cabbage?
Cabbage Patch Kids trading cards.
12. Are you emotional?
I am. Yes I am, and if feels good to admit it. *Gets teary*
13. Have you ever counted to 1,000?
I usually fall asleep around 187.
14. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it?
I bite into but only after trying my best just to lick it. It happens every time, but usually it tastes so good that licking it just doesn't seem to do it for me. Neither does biting. I don't exactly know what I want to do with the ice cream, maybe make out with it, or cover myself in it.
15. Do you like your hair?
I have great hair.
16. Do you like yourself?
Yes but I'm starting to hate a few of my bad habits.
17. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush?
Yes he likes sports and so do I. I would love to watch a ballgame with him at hooters.
18. What are you listening to right now?
My new dirty little secret : Death Cab for Cutie. I'm trying to learn how to play soul meets body on guitar.
19. Are your parents strict?
No. Two of most genuinely laid back individuals you'd ever have to pleasure to meet.
20. Would you go sky diving?
I would need to be pushed and shoved out of the plane, but yea lets do this!
21. Do you like cottage cheese?
Nope. But dogs do.
22. Have you ever met a celebrity?
Yes and I'll drop those names now. Robert Duval, Sheryl Crow, Lance Armstrong, George Lopez, Arnold Schwarzneger, Dick Cheney, The lead singer of the Kaiser Cheifs, George Thurgood, and my personal favorite moment of all time was smoking a cigarette with Forrest Whitaker.
23. Do you rent movies often?
Can't say that I do.
24. Is there anything sparkly in the room you're in?
The sunlight is hitting the back of a DVDR just right, and yes it is actually sparkling.
25. How many countries have you visited?
4-5
26. Have you made a prank phone call?
It used to be one of my favorite things to do. Why did I ever stop? Oh yea...caller ID
27. Ever been on a train?
Yup but only at mueseums and stuff never one that was taking me anywhere. I've always thought it would be cool to go around the country on a train though.
28. Brown or white eggs?
Whatever you're making.
29.Do you have a cell-phone?
Yes I do. And we're in love.
30. Do you use chap stick?
Not really. Only when my lips are so apparently chapped that they're bleeding. Ok that was a joke, but you get what I mean.
31. Do you own a gun?
Nope but I've got it all picked out. I want a .44 caliber.
32. Can you use chop sticks?
Yea but only to drum on the salt and pepper shakers.
33. Who are you going to be with tonight?
My good buddy Mike and his family.
34. Are you too forgiving?
Nope I am just the perfect amount of forgiving.
35. Ever been in love?
Probably not. That sucks I know, but I'm being honest.
36. What is your best friend(s) doing tomorrow?
He's in Amsterdam right now. Probably sight seeing.
37. Ever have cream puffs?
I don't exactly know what that is.
38. Last time you cried?
When I got dropped off at the airport by my Mom last month.
39. What was the last question you asked?
"Who else has been working on this computer?"
40. Favorite time of the year?
I'm a fally. Football and girls in sweaters. And football and cold rain, and muddy football.
41. Do you have any tattoos?
I have two tattoos. A famous stick figure on my left shoulder, and the theatre masks on my right shoulder blade.
42. Are you sarcastic?
Nooooooo, I'm not.
43. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect?
Yes. What a great movie! Seriously Amelia watch it!
44. Ever walked into a wall?
Yea they're sneaky.
45. Favorite color?
Blue
46. Have you ever slapped someone?
Yes but she asked me to.
47. Is your hair curly?
No it's pretty straight.
48. What was the last CD you bought?
Well I just downloaded Death Cab for Cutie's entire discography, so we'll go with that. I haven't payed for a cd since 2002. It was probably Chevelle's self titled album.
49. Do looks matter?
I'm starting to think that they don't. And I'm finding myself more and more addicted to chubby women than I'm frankly comfortable with.
50. Could you ever forgive a cheater?
Yea but I'd rather not.
51. Is your phone bill sky high?
I don't gab on it a lot during non free times, so nope. And I gots millions of roll over minutes.
52. Do you like your life right now?
I want to change it so badly. I'm stuck. If you're reading this, rescue me!
53. Do you sleep with the TV on?
Yes I have to.
54. Can you handle the truth?
Yea I can, but I'm better at hiding from it, or running from it.
55. Do you have good vision?
20/10 baby.
56. Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people?
I don't know how many Arabs are there? That made me laugh so hard. You laughed to admit it.
57. How often do you talk on the phone?
With the right person I can talk for a very very long time.
58. The last person you held hands with?
???
59. What are you wearing?
Jeans and a red shirt.
60.What is your favorite animal?
I like cats and dogs and humans.
61. Where was your default picture taken at?
In my bathroom.
62. Can you hula hoop?
The last time I tried I was pretty good. With all of the dancing I've been doing I'm getting better at hip eye cordination. I bet I could kill a hula hoop right now.
63. Do you have a job?
Yes I do. I work for Presentation Services. I've been there going on four years now. I think they're poisoning the water, I usually quit jobs after about two months.
64. What was the most recent thing you bought?
Raid Wasp and Hornet death in a can.
65. Have you ever crawled through a window?
Have I? *smiles*
Friday, April 24, 2009
My Problems with 9/11
I am not a conspiracy nut. I swear to God I am not. But I have a few problems with the official story of what took place on September 11, 2001. And here they are.
There have only been 3 sky scrapers that have ever collapsed from a fire. They are World Trade Center Towers 1, 2, and 7.
There have been hundreds of sky scrapers that have been on fire over the years. And none of them have ever collapsed. Some of them have even burned for six to seven times longer than the Twin Towers did, and they did not collapse. And they were not constructed as well as the Twin Towers.
My second problem with the official story is 9 of the 19 hijackers are still alive! This has been verified by several news agencies as well as the governments of Saudi Arabia and The United Kingdom.
How could 9 of them still be alive, unless....they were never in the planes.
My third problem with the official story is the fact that the particular type of Steel used to construct the towers, which has a melting point around 3000 degrees Fahrenheit is supposed to have been melted by Jet fuel which only burns at 1100 degrees. And it only burns that hot when the fuel level is constant. You can see most of the Jet Fuel shoot out of the side of the towers on impact. How could something that doesn't burn hot enough to melt something else, in fact melt it?
My fourth and final problem with the official story is this. There has never been one shred or inkling of evidence that ties the crimes that took place on 9/11 to anybody. Especially not Osama Bin Laden. Or a covert organization called "The Base" which when translated in Arabic comes out "Al Qaeda."
There are thousands of other incredibly false statements in the official 9/11 commission report. But these four prove beyond any doubt in my mind at least that the story we have been forced to believe is not true.
What does anybody else think? It's OK to think, and to question your government.
There have only been 3 sky scrapers that have ever collapsed from a fire. They are World Trade Center Towers 1, 2, and 7.
There have been hundreds of sky scrapers that have been on fire over the years. And none of them have ever collapsed. Some of them have even burned for six to seven times longer than the Twin Towers did, and they did not collapse. And they were not constructed as well as the Twin Towers.
My second problem with the official story is 9 of the 19 hijackers are still alive! This has been verified by several news agencies as well as the governments of Saudi Arabia and The United Kingdom.
How could 9 of them still be alive, unless....they were never in the planes.
My third problem with the official story is the fact that the particular type of Steel used to construct the towers, which has a melting point around 3000 degrees Fahrenheit is supposed to have been melted by Jet fuel which only burns at 1100 degrees. And it only burns that hot when the fuel level is constant. You can see most of the Jet Fuel shoot out of the side of the towers on impact. How could something that doesn't burn hot enough to melt something else, in fact melt it?
My fourth and final problem with the official story is this. There has never been one shred or inkling of evidence that ties the crimes that took place on 9/11 to anybody. Especially not Osama Bin Laden. Or a covert organization called "The Base" which when translated in Arabic comes out "Al Qaeda."
There are thousands of other incredibly false statements in the official 9/11 commission report. But these four prove beyond any doubt in my mind at least that the story we have been forced to believe is not true.
What does anybody else think? It's OK to think, and to question your government.
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