I moved and America had a birthday

July 3rd was 103 degrees in Sacramento, CA. It was the day that I had to move out of my old apartment and into the new one. It was such an unbearable heat. I'm still sun burnt from the experience.

Aside from the heat the move was actually not a bad one. Everything was done in a matter of hours, and it was the first time that I had ever moved that I didn't do everything at the last minute. I had a plan and stuck to it. I never did more than two hours of work on any day leading up to the move, and when it was finally time to move it took about three.

I've been in the new place a few nights now, and I've noticed some things already. I guess I've just been spoiled living near a college, in a college apartment complex. All of my neighbors have been hot young girls, who have always invited me over to play twister, or rock band. That sort of thing won't be happening at the new place. I don't want to say that I live in the ghetto, but it's a distinct possibility. The other night I was fortunate enough to see two homeless guys get into a pretty nice fight. One guy in the fight lost his vision out of one of his eyes. And he wasn't dealing with it well. Not that anyone would, but he was freaking out. I think for a moment, it took his mind off of being homeless though.

While there aren't any hot or admirable neighbors, there are a few diamonds in the rough. There is a guy with one arm. Well OK he has two arms, what he doesn't have is two hands. I met stumpy (a name which he told me to call him) when I was taking out some trash the other night. He wants the recyclables, and won't take no for an answer. He's very pushy about it too. Sometimes I'm just not in the mood to recycle. I tried to explain it to him, but I think it will just be easier if I leave all of my beer bottles at his door.

Then there's a lady named Gloria. A sweet gentle soul. She reminds me of my grandmother. And she's probably just as old as her. She's very down to earth. She's a little too curious for my likes though. I don't always want to have a conversation with an old lady in a house dress. Not that she's boring, or that I don't want to talk, but sometimes I just want to do my laundry. That's it. I suppose I'm being hypocritical though, I bet if Gloria was a 22 yr old hottie, I'd make the time to let her interrupt me anytime she wanted.

The idea of America is 232 years old. And I celebrated it in a grand fashion. There were a lot of fun times had with fireworks. We went all over downtown Sacramento setting off fireworks and then jumping through them like they were sprinklers. One time while I was jumping through a larger one, I kicked a nice piece of flame up into my eye lid. It burned I won't lie. But not so much as to get me to stop. Just so much so I had to think about it extra hard before the next time.

I shot a Roman Candle into the side of a building. Not something that I'm overly proud of. But something that, after it happened and nobody was hurt was hilarious. We got it on film. I was kind of hoping to have the film of that by now, but I just don't.

The best part of the evening on July 4Th, was jamming. We had sort of a rag tag band going on for a good part of the night. We had a banjo, a ukulele, a guitar, and a harmonica. We kept passing them back and fourth, and it was a pretty good time. We kept meaning to go out and sit on J street and play for people walking by, but it never cemented.

Haven't posted in a while, and I'm sorry. Hope this keeps you biting. Catch you on the flip.

your mom

:)

Too Particular?

When something is funny to me it means that I find it both interesting and curious. When I say something is funny it doesn’t necessarily make me laugh. I guess I should stop saying that I think things are funny when I’m actually saying they are otherwise something else entirely. I choose not to be that descriptive when I talk though. Words that I use often have several meanings and in my mind fitting in the simple words into a more complex structure is much more important to me than actually using the specific word for the case. That is how I am interacting with language when I use it anyway. I want my sentence to be a joke, the correct direct answer or response, and include several layers of sarcasm. Many you won't get until hours later. So I tend to hate people who are particularly descriptive. Using insane words that nobody else even knows unless they are a world literature major. Those people aka the grammar mafioso don't interact with language. They treat it like a rock. But it's more than a rock. Well it’s not that I hate them; I just want to not only understand what you’re saying, but I want to know how you feel about what you're saying. But I don't want you to tell me, not directly anyway. And if you won't allow for the rules to be bent I doubt you'll get to interact with the language too much. Why does language have to be exact for you? Why can’t things be left unsaid, or under described? You can’t describe everything, you know that right? So stop trying.

Language is a very funny topic. So you know I mean that it’s very curious right? Just checking. For instance: take something that you think that you know and try to describe it to a child. Go to wikipedia and type in the word love. You can read all 8 pages if you’d like to, but I’d rather you spend the time reading my blog, so I’ll just pick out a choice phrase that I found funny. (Checking again)

Love is lust attraction and attachment. That’s it. Plain and simple. Or is it really? I don’t have an official explanation of what I think Love is, but I doubt I would have used the words lust, attraction, or attachment. Wikipedia goes on…

“lust, attraction, and attachment. Lust exposes people to others, romantic attraction encourages people to focus their energy on mating, and attachment involves tolerating the spouse long enough to rear a child into infancy.”

If I had to explain what love was I could use words to do it. But they just wouldn’t be enough. They wouldn’t even come close to hitting the mark. If I had to explain what love was I would grab the person in my arms, and never let them go.

Language is alive. It is not dead. It is also an experience. Those are the only rules. And sometimes when I'm telling someone where I was yesterday, I say me and Tim, and sometimes I say Tim and I. It's really a judgment call, and grammatically
speaking, grammar does not bear any weight on intelligence.

Now that I’ve gotten that off my chest, I can show you something I made last month when I saw the FloBots video for the song called “Handle Bars.” I took a porno featuring Jenna Jameson, Tera Patrick, and Brianna Banks called Pretty Bitches. I made it look like a cartoon. In the small player, it’s a bit hard to see. But there I go again using language to describe something that you’d have to see for yourself to really understand.

It has come to my attention

It has come to my attention that there are two types of people in this world. Guys that will ask before they fuck you, and guys that just fuck you. I say the term guys, because it grabs your attention. But girls you're in here too. So when I use the word guys, I mean to say guys and girls, but I'm not going to be saying that. And I know some women take offense to that. Calling them dude and whatnot. But c'mon dude....

Let's talk about the topic:

Guys and girls (there I did it one time) that want to fuck you. All guys, girls, children, and the old want to fuck you. Because it is in our nature to fuck. And so we all set out to do just that. Fuck can mean so many things. And I'm not talking about physical fucking. I'm talking about fucking the old way. The way it was meant to be done, with your mouth. It is because of this very reason that all guys, children, and the old want to fuck. They want to fuck you, before you fuck them. Those fuckers.

But you yourself just by being part of that very same species, will by mere chance be thrust into a situation where you get to do all of the fucking onto another. And they must lay there and be sub-serviant to your wanton wit and devious desires.

"Not me Jason. I'm not a fucker."

"Yea you are"

So you're a fucker. Nice to meet you, I'm one too. You're just like the rest of mother earth. You only have one choice in the matter really. How you fuck. That's all you have to decide.

Some people take pleasure in getting permission to fuck other people. Hearing them say "yes fuck away."

Some people don't care for that mess. And those people do it without your knowledge. Always fucking you behind closed doors. You're asleep, you don't even know that you're getting fucked, but there they are those fuckers, always fucking you.

Some of us get so good at both styles of fucking, that's all we do. We fuck all day. Everyone and everything we know.

I love the whole lot of us. Well except for retards and midgets.

The Best Band Ever

Every month I Jason Reed find a new band and proclaim it to be the best band ever. And this month's band is no different. They're a new group out of Seattle, WA called Fleet Foxes.

What a refreshing sound out of this ensemble.



I cannot stop listening to the new best band ever. They're a cross between The Shins(which isn't a wonder because they're on the same label), The Beachboys, and Bob Dylan. I know that combination doesn't sound like it would make any sense, but it really does.

In the past I have made several earth shattering predictions about the next big thing. And these guys are it. The proof as always is in the pudding. Click the link and enjoy the breath of fresh air.





Oh yeah and if you didn't know, or didn't bother to find out. Weezer put out their self titled Red Album on June 3rd. It's the best thing they've put out in a decade. You need to give it a listen. Well worth the twelve or thirteen dollars.

Weight of the world

Found this on the recorder the other day. This was the first take. The finished product got far away from this. I think the original feeling is in this one. Or am I wrong?




I promise a reel blog reel soon.

Recorded in Austin Texas August 2005

This is Dustin Ingram, you may know him as Statutory D. He let me rap with him on this track too. Can you believe it?

Check it out. It's one of my favorites.

A small scene for 4 actors, and a story about wrappin

Rap Studio / A small scene for four actors.

2 blogs in one? You got it.

I was at a rap studio for an extended amount of time the other night. There are a lot of things that go on at a professional studio that don’t go on at the kind of musical outings that I get myself somehow or other involved in.

I also was the only Anglo-can American at this studio. And there were a lot of people there. I have never been more in the minority in my life. But I passed all of their tests. I had to show them my chest so they wouldn’t think I was wired. I had to buy the weed that was smoked, and I had to partake in their vodka. And after I was in, I got to see an entire night in the life of a rap studio producer.

Immediately I liked how they actually had a recording booth. And then an entire separate room where they did the rest. And a glass booth and an intercom system set up, so they could communicate easily.

I also liked the fact that they had hoes. There were a lot of random hoes just chilling at the studio. And there was this like whole party going on. Drugs were being done off of titties, porno was on the television, and all that amidst eight miles of cock being sucked.

Yet somehow official work was being done, by the rap chemist in the corner. He couldn’t be bothered. While me and the other doods gang banged half of the girls in Sacramento, he kept producing.

Then this cat named Skurge laid down one of the sickest sounding verbal slams I had ever partaken in.

Life is all this real shit-----------

That could or should not happen

If you click your heels

Then your heels should be clacking

But they took my wheels

And now I got these bills

Cats don’t want the minimum

Aren’t making any deals

-Jr Reed

And here's a little scene I wrote not too long ago. It made me chuckle. I think it could grow into a one act play called "The nuclears". Here's a little section. Do this in your beginning acting class, I dare you.

(children are seated with parents at dinner this is the worst table conversation in history)

(over loud ipods)

Mom: Well kids we’re trying to have a baby again. Kids can’t you hear me?

(they can’t)

Dad: slams the table really hard (the children turn off their ipods and straighten up)

Can you hear your mother yet?

Kids: yes!

Dad: Alright now let her finish.

Mom: I said that your father and I are trying to have a baby.

Male son: Alright dad! High fives him (male son and father begin dancing together like they’re both celebrating in the endzone)

Daughter: (as they do this) So you and dad are fucking again huh?

Mom: Well, yes unfortunately.

Daughter: You should cheat mom.

Mom: Well you see that’s complicated.

Daughter: Why is that again?

Mom: Because I’m ugly baby. You get all your ugliness from me, your fat ugly mom.

(dad and son rejoin the table, with 40oz beers)

Mom: You’re letting your 16 old drink?

Dad: Sure, at the rate we’re going we’ll be making a new one in no time. So I figure if the kid wants to drink, and he dies, well then we just won’t let the next one.

Mom: Well that was an incredibly large, specimen you deposited in my throat last night.

Dad: Yeah think of the possibilities if you’d make me stop wearing those damn condoms.

Daughter: Don’t do it mom. You don’t know where dad’s been.

Dad: Hey is it my fault that your friend’s all love giant cocks in their asses?

Daughter: I guess you’re right dad. But I’m getting a little bit sick of hearing about how large your cock is at school. And then when I get home now, I suppose, that’s all we’ll be hearing about around this house. Won’t we mom?

(looks at mom)

Mom: (thinks about it) well…….it is really big.

Daughter and son: We’ve heard.

(the son immediately without hesitation, whips his cock out on the table. After his father high-fives him. They do a similar version of their victory dance again.)

Dad : You know son, when I was your age, I was banging chicks all day.

Son: Really dad?

Dad: But when you’ve got a fabulous cock and hair like this, there comes a great deal of responsibility.

Son: Responsibility?

Dad: Well you see son, women want you to fuck them. All the time. And when they don’t know that they do, they do. If you don’t accept no for an answer, eventually any woman will come around after a short period of time.

Daughter: Isn’t that date rape dad?

Mom: Not if you pull out before you leave DNA, sweetheart.

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