It has been over three years since I dropped out of college. I think I've been bitter for those three years. Someone recently asked me if I still thought about acting. My honest response was I hadn't. I said it so quickly. It had to be true.
My recent battles with work, career, and life goals have made me realize some things. I no longer want to be a victim. I no longer am one. When you're not a victim you can change the future. The past still remains never fleeting, but it doesn't have to bear any weight on the future.
In the past it has never been my fault. Nothing has been. It has been easier to just blame others. Not to say that I was always at fault, but I'm at least half to blame for everything that has happened to me. I was there too wasn't I?
Everyone learns this lesson in their own time. I won't be 28 until October, and I've got a lot of life left. At least I hope I do. No longer will I let being a victim, leave me out of the things I enjoy.
Isn't that just pathetic? That I have stopped doing the things I used to enjoy because I was burnt once or twice.
I understand now that I am flammable. If I'm going to get burnt in the future it's going to be on my own terms.
I went to the Sacramento Public Library two days ago. It had been about three years since I had been into a library. My friend asked me what I was looking for. I didn't even know. I actually had followed him into the library. But what I said so quickly and uninhibited was one word : "plays"
You should see the theatre section in this library, it puts a lot of others to shame. It was sort of bittersweet, there they all were. Shaw, Begosian, Willy Shakes, Silversteen, Checkov and others.
It had been a while, and I didn't really know what I wanted to read, or what I even liked anymore. So I picked up one of those 20 in one books. Twenty off Broadway plays from the seventies.
I've read about three of them. And I haven't forgotten how to read a play, even after all this time. Backwards then forwards. Isn't that right David Ball? And these plays are horrible. None of them are good.
I wonder if it's just me being older, or not being a victim anymore, but I'm noticing things in the plays that I didn't use to notice earlier in my life.
Scenes in plays are supposed to be about the best and worst days of life. People in those scenes do everything that we do in real life. Everything.
People in plays tell bad jokes.
And the other people in the scene make fun of them when they do.
People are racist in plays.
People play practical jokes in plays.
People are always doing something in a play. To each other, to themselves, or to nobody in particular.
A long time ago the word "playable actions" was introduced to me. And I didn't get it right away, and maybe I still don't. But I'm noticing an entire level of consciousness that I never used to notice on paper before.
There's the things people say...the script.
There's the motivation for that in the plot.
There's the playable actions beyond that.
And then there's this thing that I'm only starting to notice.
Their suspicions.
Maybe I don't know what I'm talking about. After all I don't have a degree in theatre or anything. But everyone in every scene, on top of their playable action, lines, and motives also have suspicions. And it's making reading; even the most horrible off Broadway plays from the 1970's bearable.
I need a one minute monologue and a cattle call.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
I moved and America had a birthday
July 3rd was 103 degrees in Sacramento, CA. It was the day that I had to move out of my old apartment and into the new one. It was such an unbearable heat. I'm still sun burnt from the experience.
Aside from the heat the move was actually not a bad one. Everything was done in a matter of hours, and it was the first time that I had ever moved that I didn't do everything at the last minute. I had a plan and stuck to it. I never did more than two hours of work on any day leading up to the move, and when it was finally time to move it took about three.
I've been in the new place a few nights now, and I've noticed some things already. I guess I've just been spoiled living near a college, in a college apartment complex. All of my neighbors have been hot young girls, who have always invited me over to play twister, or rock band. That sort of thing won't be happening at the new place. I don't want to say that I live in the ghetto, but it's a distinct possibility. The other night I was fortunate enough to see two homeless guys get into a pretty nice fight. One guy in the fight lost his vision out of one of his eyes. And he wasn't dealing with it well. Not that anyone would, but he was freaking out. I think for a moment, it took his mind off of being homeless though.
While there aren't any hot or admirable neighbors, there are a few diamonds in the rough. There is a guy with one arm. Well OK he has two arms, what he doesn't have is two hands. I met stumpy (a name which he told me to call him) when I was taking out some trash the other night. He wants the recyclables, and won't take no for an answer. He's very pushy about it too. Sometimes I'm just not in the mood to recycle. I tried to explain it to him, but I think it will just be easier if I leave all of my beer bottles at his door.
Then there's a lady named Gloria. A sweet gentle soul. She reminds me of my grandmother. And she's probably just as old as her. She's very down to earth. She's a little too curious for my likes though. I don't always want to have a conversation with an old lady in a house dress. Not that she's boring, or that I don't want to talk, but sometimes I just want to do my laundry. That's it. I suppose I'm being hypocritical though, I bet if Gloria was a 22 yr old hottie, I'd make the time to let her interrupt me anytime she wanted.
The idea of America is 232 years old. And I celebrated it in a grand fashion. There were a lot of fun times had with fireworks. We went all over downtown Sacramento setting off fireworks and then jumping through them like they were sprinklers. One time while I was jumping through a larger one, I kicked a nice piece of flame up into my eye lid. It burned I won't lie. But not so much as to get me to stop. Just so much so I had to think about it extra hard before the next time.
I shot a Roman Candle into the side of a building. Not something that I'm overly proud of. But something that, after it happened and nobody was hurt was hilarious. We got it on film. I was kind of hoping to have the film of that by now, but I just don't.
The best part of the evening on July 4Th, was jamming. We had sort of a rag tag band going on for a good part of the night. We had a banjo, a ukulele, a guitar, and a harmonica. We kept passing them back and fourth, and it was a pretty good time. We kept meaning to go out and sit on J street and play for people walking by, but it never cemented.
Haven't posted in a while, and I'm sorry. Hope this keeps you biting. Catch you on the flip.
your mom
:)
Aside from the heat the move was actually not a bad one. Everything was done in a matter of hours, and it was the first time that I had ever moved that I didn't do everything at the last minute. I had a plan and stuck to it. I never did more than two hours of work on any day leading up to the move, and when it was finally time to move it took about three.
I've been in the new place a few nights now, and I've noticed some things already. I guess I've just been spoiled living near a college, in a college apartment complex. All of my neighbors have been hot young girls, who have always invited me over to play twister, or rock band. That sort of thing won't be happening at the new place. I don't want to say that I live in the ghetto, but it's a distinct possibility. The other night I was fortunate enough to see two homeless guys get into a pretty nice fight. One guy in the fight lost his vision out of one of his eyes. And he wasn't dealing with it well. Not that anyone would, but he was freaking out. I think for a moment, it took his mind off of being homeless though.
While there aren't any hot or admirable neighbors, there are a few diamonds in the rough. There is a guy with one arm. Well OK he has two arms, what he doesn't have is two hands. I met stumpy (a name which he told me to call him) when I was taking out some trash the other night. He wants the recyclables, and won't take no for an answer. He's very pushy about it too. Sometimes I'm just not in the mood to recycle. I tried to explain it to him, but I think it will just be easier if I leave all of my beer bottles at his door.
Then there's a lady named Gloria. A sweet gentle soul. She reminds me of my grandmother. And she's probably just as old as her. She's very down to earth. She's a little too curious for my likes though. I don't always want to have a conversation with an old lady in a house dress. Not that she's boring, or that I don't want to talk, but sometimes I just want to do my laundry. That's it. I suppose I'm being hypocritical though, I bet if Gloria was a 22 yr old hottie, I'd make the time to let her interrupt me anytime she wanted.
The idea of America is 232 years old. And I celebrated it in a grand fashion. There were a lot of fun times had with fireworks. We went all over downtown Sacramento setting off fireworks and then jumping through them like they were sprinklers. One time while I was jumping through a larger one, I kicked a nice piece of flame up into my eye lid. It burned I won't lie. But not so much as to get me to stop. Just so much so I had to think about it extra hard before the next time.
I shot a Roman Candle into the side of a building. Not something that I'm overly proud of. But something that, after it happened and nobody was hurt was hilarious. We got it on film. I was kind of hoping to have the film of that by now, but I just don't.
The best part of the evening on July 4Th, was jamming. We had sort of a rag tag band going on for a good part of the night. We had a banjo, a ukulele, a guitar, and a harmonica. We kept passing them back and fourth, and it was a pretty good time. We kept meaning to go out and sit on J street and play for people walking by, but it never cemented.
Haven't posted in a while, and I'm sorry. Hope this keeps you biting. Catch you on the flip.
your mom
:)
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Too Particular?
When something is funny to me it means that I find it both interesting and curious. When I say something is funny it doesn’t necessarily make me laugh. I guess I should stop saying that I think things are funny when I’m actually saying they are otherwise something else entirely. I choose not to be that descriptive when I talk though. Words that I use often have several meanings and in my mind fitting in the simple words into a more complex structure is much more important to me than actually using the specific word for the case. That is how I am interacting with language when I use it anyway. I want my sentence to be a joke, the correct direct answer or response, and include several layers of sarcasm. Many you won't get until hours later. So I tend to hate people who are particularly descriptive. Using insane words that nobody else even knows unless they are a world literature major. Those people aka the grammar mafioso don't interact with language. They treat it like a rock. But it's more than a rock. Well it’s not that I hate them; I just want to not only understand what you’re saying, but I want to know how you feel about what you're saying. But I don't want you to tell me, not directly anyway. And if you won't allow for the rules to be bent I doubt you'll get to interact with the language too much. Why does language have to be exact for you? Why can’t things be left unsaid, or under described? You can’t describe everything, you know that right? So stop trying.
Language is a very funny topic. So you know I mean that it’s very curious right? Just checking. For instance: take something that you think that you know and try to describe it to a child. Go to wikipedia and type in the word love. You can read all 8 pages if you’d like to, but I’d rather you spend the time reading my blog, so I’ll just pick out a choice phrase that I found funny. (Checking again)
Love is lust attraction and attachment. That’s it. Plain and simple. Or is it really? I don’t have an official explanation of what I think Love is, but I doubt I would have used the words lust, attraction, or attachment. Wikipedia goes on…
“lust, attraction, and attachment. Lust exposes people to others, romantic attraction encourages people to focus their energy on mating, and attachment involves tolerating the spouse long enough to rear a child into infancy.”
If I had to explain what love was I could use words to do it. But they just wouldn’t be enough. They wouldn’t even come close to hitting the mark. If I had to explain what love was I would grab the person in my arms, and never let them go.
Language is alive. It is not dead. It is also an experience. Those are the only rules. And sometimes when I'm telling someone where I was yesterday, I say me and Tim, and sometimes I say Tim and I. It's really a judgment call, and grammatically
speaking, grammar does not bear any weight on intelligence.
Now that I’ve gotten that off my chest, I can show you something I made last month when I saw the FloBots video for the song called “Handle Bars.” I took a porno featuring Jenna Jameson, Tera Patrick, and Brianna Banks called Pretty Bitches. I made it look like a cartoon. In the small player, it’s a bit hard to see. But there I go again using language to describe something that you’d have to see for yourself to really understand.
Language is a very funny topic. So you know I mean that it’s very curious right? Just checking. For instance: take something that you think that you know and try to describe it to a child. Go to wikipedia and type in the word love. You can read all 8 pages if you’d like to, but I’d rather you spend the time reading my blog, so I’ll just pick out a choice phrase that I found funny. (Checking again)
Love is lust attraction and attachment. That’s it. Plain and simple. Or is it really? I don’t have an official explanation of what I think Love is, but I doubt I would have used the words lust, attraction, or attachment. Wikipedia goes on…
“lust, attraction, and attachment. Lust exposes people to others, romantic attraction encourages people to focus their energy on mating, and attachment involves tolerating the spouse long enough to rear a child into infancy.”
If I had to explain what love was I could use words to do it. But they just wouldn’t be enough. They wouldn’t even come close to hitting the mark. If I had to explain what love was I would grab the person in my arms, and never let them go.
Language is alive. It is not dead. It is also an experience. Those are the only rules. And sometimes when I'm telling someone where I was yesterday, I say me and Tim, and sometimes I say Tim and I. It's really a judgment call, and grammatically
speaking, grammar does not bear any weight on intelligence.
Now that I’ve gotten that off my chest, I can show you something I made last month when I saw the FloBots video for the song called “Handle Bars.” I took a porno featuring Jenna Jameson, Tera Patrick, and Brianna Banks called Pretty Bitches. I made it look like a cartoon. In the small player, it’s a bit hard to see. But there I go again using language to describe something that you’d have to see for yourself to really understand.
Monday, June 23, 2008
It has come to my attention
It has come to my attention that there are two types of people in this world. Guys that will ask before they fuck you, and guys that just fuck you. I say the term guys, because it grabs your attention. But girls you're in here too. So when I use the word guys, I mean to say guys and girls, but I'm not going to be saying that. And I know some women take offense to that. Calling them dude and whatnot. But c'mon dude....
Let's talk about the topic:
Guys and girls (there I did it one time) that want to fuck you. All guys, girls, children, and the old want to fuck you. Because it is in our nature to fuck. And so we all set out to do just that. Fuck can mean so many things. And I'm not talking about physical fucking. I'm talking about fucking the old way. The way it was meant to be done, with your mouth. It is because of this very reason that all guys, children, and the old want to fuck. They want to fuck you, before you fuck them. Those fuckers.
But you yourself just by being part of that very same species, will by mere chance be thrust into a situation where you get to do all of the fucking onto another. And they must lay there and be sub-serviant to your wanton wit and devious desires.
"Not me Jason. I'm not a fucker."
"Yea you are"
So you're a fucker. Nice to meet you, I'm one too. You're just like the rest of mother earth. You only have one choice in the matter really. How you fuck. That's all you have to decide.
Some people take pleasure in getting permission to fuck other people. Hearing them say "yes fuck away."
Some people don't care for that mess. And those people do it without your knowledge. Always fucking you behind closed doors. You're asleep, you don't even know that you're getting fucked, but there they are those fuckers, always fucking you.
Some of us get so good at both styles of fucking, that's all we do. We fuck all day. Everyone and everything we know.
I love the whole lot of us. Well except for retards and midgets.
Let's talk about the topic:
Guys and girls (there I did it one time) that want to fuck you. All guys, girls, children, and the old want to fuck you. Because it is in our nature to fuck. And so we all set out to do just that. Fuck can mean so many things. And I'm not talking about physical fucking. I'm talking about fucking the old way. The way it was meant to be done, with your mouth. It is because of this very reason that all guys, children, and the old want to fuck. They want to fuck you, before you fuck them. Those fuckers.
But you yourself just by being part of that very same species, will by mere chance be thrust into a situation where you get to do all of the fucking onto another. And they must lay there and be sub-serviant to your wanton wit and devious desires.
"Not me Jason. I'm not a fucker."
"Yea you are"
So you're a fucker. Nice to meet you, I'm one too. You're just like the rest of mother earth. You only have one choice in the matter really. How you fuck. That's all you have to decide.
Some people take pleasure in getting permission to fuck other people. Hearing them say "yes fuck away."
Some people don't care for that mess. And those people do it without your knowledge. Always fucking you behind closed doors. You're asleep, you don't even know that you're getting fucked, but there they are those fuckers, always fucking you.
Some of us get so good at both styles of fucking, that's all we do. We fuck all day. Everyone and everything we know.
I love the whole lot of us. Well except for retards and midgets.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
The Best Band Ever
Every month I Jason Reed find a new band and proclaim it to be the best band ever. And this month's band is no different. They're a new group out of Seattle, WA called Fleet Foxes.
What a refreshing sound out of this ensemble.
I cannot stop listening to the new best band ever. They're a cross between The Shins(which isn't a wonder because they're on the same label), The Beachboys, and Bob Dylan. I know that combination doesn't sound like it would make any sense, but it really does.
In the past I have made several earth shattering predictions about the next big thing. And these guys are it. The proof as always is in the pudding. Click the link and enjoy the breath of fresh air.
Oh yeah and if you didn't know, or didn't bother to find out. Weezer put out their self titled Red Album on June 3rd. It's the best thing they've put out in a decade. You need to give it a listen. Well worth the twelve or thirteen dollars.
What a refreshing sound out of this ensemble.
I cannot stop listening to the new best band ever. They're a cross between The Shins(which isn't a wonder because they're on the same label), The Beachboys, and Bob Dylan. I know that combination doesn't sound like it would make any sense, but it really does.
In the past I have made several earth shattering predictions about the next big thing. And these guys are it. The proof as always is in the pudding. Click the link and enjoy the breath of fresh air.
Oh yeah and if you didn't know, or didn't bother to find out. Weezer put out their self titled Red Album on June 3rd. It's the best thing they've put out in a decade. You need to give it a listen. Well worth the twelve or thirteen dollars.
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Weight of the world
Found this on the recorder the other day. This was the first take. The finished product got far away from this. I think the original feeling is in this one. Or am I wrong?
I promise a reel blog reel soon.
I promise a reel blog reel soon.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Recorded in Austin Texas August 2005
This is Dustin Ingram, you may know him as Statutory D. He let me rap with him on this track too. Can you believe it?
Check it out. It's one of my favorites.
Check it out. It's one of my favorites.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
