So I'm chatting with this chick last night on the Internet. And one thing leads to another, and she's like "Would you like to view my web cam?"
And so I do, because I'd already seen Sports Center earlier in the day.
And she's Asian. And she's kind of hot. And she's wearing something skimpy. And I want to assure you that my hands are nowhere near my pants. Because I was working on some music files.
I was really just watching this girl in the background, between beers. So she tells me that there are like 15 other doods watching her as well. And I wasn't that jealous, because of the above reasons.
She starts posing like a porn star, and such. Showing off her thong. Leaning in close to the cam, kind of rubbing her tits in my face and such.
And then she sort of positions the cam on her crotchu-lar area.
So out of my curious nature, I being to pay more and more attention to Nina and less and less to my ongoing project.
After the camera settles on her cash and prizes (thanks dane cook) she tells me that there's a little secret that she forgot to tell me about.
So now I'm a little creeped out. I think that's what a transvestite tells you right before she's about to whip out her cock on you.
I called her out on it. I was like "Oh did you forget to tell me about your cock?"
But I've been staring at her crotch for like 10 minutes now, and if there's a cock in there inside of the mini skirt, it's not a big one. So I being the comedian that I am, ask her how hung she is.
And she tells me that she's somewhere between 8-9. She's a 8:30.
But she's sitting with her legs crossed real tight.
And I'm only rocking a solid 5:45 myself, and I know that I couldn't sit with my legs crossed like she's got hers if a billion dollars depended on it.
So I call her out on that too. I'm like "Hey if you're rocking that kind of heat, WHIP IT OUT." "I wanna see that big hunk of junk."
And she gets all fluttered and instead of whipping it out, she shows it to me under her skirt. After she obviously put something under her skirt. Like a cucumber, or a mailable dildo.
And I tell her that I don't believe that she has a cock. And that I think she's really funny. But that for me to believe that she actually has an 8:30, I'm going to need to see some proof.
Which she never produces.
She cut off her cam, and ran for the hills.
Which leaves with me with more questions, than I would have had if I were to see a Transvestite's cock.
If she would have just whipped it out, I would have been like, "wow nice cock." And then went on with my day.
But I don't really think Nina has a cock.
I think Nina is a weird girl. Who pretends to be a Transvestite to make men feel bad about thinking that she's hot. Like she enjoys putting the "Am I gay?" question inside of men's heads.
Maybe I would have felt bad if I was touching myself and she showed me her cock. But I doubt it. I've seen a dick before. I've watched some porno in my day. I don't think it would scar me like she thought it would.
Plus, she's not a Tranny. She's a she! Which is the most confusing part of this entire evening.
I wish she'd come back online and talk to me so I could pick her brain. Because if it is all just one big giant joke, I'd love to know the back story.
She's so funny. Nina and her cock.
Nina's Cock part two
Since I broke the story last week there have been several new developments in regards to Nina's cock. So I've decided to share them with the many of you that I know will care.
I must tangent for a brief facetious moment. I guess I didn't know what the readers of my blog were into. There have been 250 views this week. That's the best week ever. All because of transvestites. So, now that I know what you guys are really into, I may just have to write about them more often. I might be putting out a book next year called "Everything you've never wanted to know about chicks with dicks." Look for it at a half priced books near you.
Back to nina...
Nina read the blog. And she was upset. But fuck her, I will never take it down. I thinks she's most upset about the fact that I busted her operation wide open.
Also Nina is curious about me. Because I'm the first person to ever confront her problem head on. I think that challenges her in ways she's never been challenged before.
As nina put it "I've showed my cock to several hundred guys before and you're the first one who actually realized it wasn't mine." That statement alone let's you know so much about her, and how deeply rooted this problem is. "I've showed MY cock" She calls it her cock. She's taken ownership over an appendage that she never ever had. Isn't that ridiculous? It's like reverse phantom limb syndrome.
So we've been talking, I've been picking her brain and putting together a profile of who this girl actually is. And we've been becoming, I dunno friends.... online buddies? What's the word? Cyberly connected. That's it.
It took a while for me to break her down emotionally. But Nina has finally talked to me about why she does what she does.
Nina is a girl. And that I now know. Which makes me feel a little bit better. About the whole thing. About everything. About my sexuality. Whew.
She thinks it's really funny to flash men her fake cock. Because she's a giant attention whore. And the biggest tease on the planet.
I think she's destined to be a porno actress or a stripper. Maybe she'll do them both. And I for one hope she does. Because Nina is drop dead sexy. Especially without her huge cock.
But is it really that funny though? As Nina tells it "you'd have to be there." I'm assuming that "there" would be in the room while she's flashing her dick to men.
Nina lives in my town.
And I'm probably going to meet her at some point. Because this story is just too huge to do over yahoo. I need to go in for an interview. I need to see her set-up, and figure out what she's using as a fake dick.
I've never met anyone off of the Internet before, and I'm kind of worried about it. But There could be so many more blogs that come from getting to know Nina. I bet she does a million other things that are way worse than this. Things that are fucked up, on a scale larger than you can even imagine right now. So I'm doing this for you people. Because I love you.
And because I want to fuck Nina's brains out. I want to give her the cock she's never had.
See she's a really messed up girl. And I've just got to get the bottom of it all.
She's so funny. Nina and her cock.
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