Smile, it's the lord's day

I'm starting a new tradition, or rather picking up where I left off on an old one. At 9am after doing some dishes, and vacuuming I decided that I would make today the International Day of the Lord. AKA "The Lord's Day!"

When I lived in Texas, some mornings I would wake up and decide that I was going to sit at home and do nothing more than drink, all day, a ridiculous amount. Drinking in the morning is fantastic. I can see why old people do it.

It's not something you should do all the time though. Which is why you need a special purpose to do it. Which is why I invented the term "Lord's day." The funniest part about it being the day of the lord is that has to be your answer to every question.

"Hey Jason why are you drinking?"

"Why don't you ask Jesus? It's his day fucker."

"Hey Jason what do you think about the World Banking system?"

"Fuck it man, it's the Lord's Day."

"What time is it?"

"Lord's Time!"


You should try it yourself. You'll be surprised at how many of your friends you can convert to your faith. They'll see how much fun you're having on the day of the lord, and they'll want to join in too.

It only works if it's impromptu, you can't plan a "Lord's Day" it has to be spontaneous. See how many of your friends, lovers, and comrades you can get to call in to their respective work places and celebrate it with you.

You'll thank me when you're piss drunk by 2pm. It's so convenient, there's practically no hang over the next day. You may be thinking to yourself, I don't even believe in the lord, well you can celebrate it too. Everyone will think it's such a great idea, they won't question your devotion to the Lord. They'll just be eyeing that slanted smile on your face and want to join in the fun.


From all of mine, to all of yours Happy Lord's Day.