Umm I don't exactly know how to put this. I just had to leave my apartment and go get some bee spray. There was a bald face hornet the size of a humming bird and 4 yellow jackets fighting in my bathroom. The weird thing is I didn't notice them until after I was done taking a piss. I've never been so scared in my entire life. I just hosed my entire bathroom down with Wasp and Hornet spray. That stuff kills quickly. In fact I'm feeling a little faint myself. I'm sure it will pass.
Two lovely ladies wanted me to do this survey so while I'm waiting for the slightly weird embrace of bee spray high to wear off, I will indulge them.
1. First thing you wash in the shower?
My chest, it's really easy to reach.
2. What color is your favorite hoodie?
It's dark blue and it says ANALOG on the front. I look like a thug in it.
3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
If I could even remember who that was, I bet I wouldn't.
4. Do you plan outfits?
No men can't be slowed down by such things.
5. How are you feeling RIGHT now?
I am feeling a little proud of myself for killing the bees. I was actually going to hit the hornet with a shoe. I had it in my hand for about five minutes just staring at that thing in the eyes. I'm so glad I decided to go buy chemicals. I would have probably missed him and been stung and bitten.
6. What’s the closest thing to you that's red?
A small capsule of Old Spice.
7. Tell me about the last dream you remember having:
My last dream was totally nut-tacular. However the details are escaping me. When I remember one part I forget another. I think it has to do with dreams existing in the frontal lobes and consciousness existing in the rear.
8. Did you meet anybody new today?
Do giant bees count?
9. What are you craving right now?
A shower. Where I will almost certainly be washing my chest first.
10. Do you floss daily?
That's kind of personal.
11. What comes to mind when I say cabbage?
Cabbage Patch Kids trading cards.
12. Are you emotional?
I am. Yes I am, and if feels good to admit it. *Gets teary*
13. Have you ever counted to 1,000?
I usually fall asleep around 187.
14. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it?
I bite into but only after trying my best just to lick it. It happens every time, but usually it tastes so good that licking it just doesn't seem to do it for me. Neither does biting. I don't exactly know what I want to do with the ice cream, maybe make out with it, or cover myself in it.
15. Do you like your hair?
I have great hair.
16. Do you like yourself?
Yes but I'm starting to hate a few of my bad habits.
17. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush?
Yes he likes sports and so do I. I would love to watch a ballgame with him at hooters.
18. What are you listening to right now?
My new dirty little secret : Death Cab for Cutie. I'm trying to learn how to play soul meets body on guitar.
19. Are your parents strict?
No. Two of most genuinely laid back individuals you'd ever have to pleasure to meet.
20. Would you go sky diving?
I would need to be pushed and shoved out of the plane, but yea lets do this!
21. Do you like cottage cheese?
Nope. But dogs do.
22. Have you ever met a celebrity?
Yes and I'll drop those names now. Robert Duval, Sheryl Crow, Lance Armstrong, George Lopez, Arnold Schwarzneger, Dick Cheney, The lead singer of the Kaiser Cheifs, George Thurgood, and my personal favorite moment of all time was smoking a cigarette with Forrest Whitaker.
23. Do you rent movies often?
Can't say that I do.
24. Is there anything sparkly in the room you're in?
The sunlight is hitting the back of a DVDR just right, and yes it is actually sparkling.
25. How many countries have you visited?
4-5
26. Have you made a prank phone call?
It used to be one of my favorite things to do. Why did I ever stop? Oh yea...caller ID
27. Ever been on a train?
Yup but only at mueseums and stuff never one that was taking me anywhere. I've always thought it would be cool to go around the country on a train though.
28. Brown or white eggs?
Whatever you're making.
29.Do you have a cell-phone?
Yes I do. And we're in love.
30. Do you use chap stick?
Not really. Only when my lips are so apparently chapped that they're bleeding. Ok that was a joke, but you get what I mean.
31. Do you own a gun?
Nope but I've got it all picked out. I want a .44 caliber.
32. Can you use chop sticks?
Yea but only to drum on the salt and pepper shakers.
33. Who are you going to be with tonight?
My good buddy Mike and his family.
34. Are you too forgiving?
Nope I am just the perfect amount of forgiving.
35. Ever been in love?
Probably not. That sucks I know, but I'm being honest.
36. What is your best friend(s) doing tomorrow?
He's in Amsterdam right now. Probably sight seeing.
37. Ever have cream puffs?
I don't exactly know what that is.
38. Last time you cried?
When I got dropped off at the airport by my Mom last month.
39. What was the last question you asked?
"Who else has been working on this computer?"
40. Favorite time of the year?
I'm a fally. Football and girls in sweaters. And football and cold rain, and muddy football.
41. Do you have any tattoos?
I have two tattoos. A famous stick figure on my left shoulder, and the theatre masks on my right shoulder blade.
42. Are you sarcastic?
Nooooooo, I'm not.
43. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect?
Yes. What a great movie! Seriously Amelia watch it!
44. Ever walked into a wall?
Yea they're sneaky.
45. Favorite color?
Blue
46. Have you ever slapped someone?
Yes but she asked me to.
47. Is your hair curly?
No it's pretty straight.
48. What was the last CD you bought?
Well I just downloaded Death Cab for Cutie's entire discography, so we'll go with that. I haven't payed for a cd since 2002. It was probably Chevelle's self titled album.
49. Do looks matter?
I'm starting to think that they don't. And I'm finding myself more and more addicted to chubby women than I'm frankly comfortable with.
50. Could you ever forgive a cheater?
Yea but I'd rather not.
51. Is your phone bill sky high?
I don't gab on it a lot during non free times, so nope. And I gots millions of roll over minutes.
52. Do you like your life right now?
I want to change it so badly. I'm stuck. If you're reading this, rescue me!
53. Do you sleep with the TV on?
Yes I have to.
54. Can you handle the truth?
Yea I can, but I'm better at hiding from it, or running from it.
55. Do you have good vision?
20/10 baby.
56. Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people?
I don't know how many Arabs are there? That made me laugh so hard. You laughed to admit it.
57. How often do you talk on the phone?
With the right person I can talk for a very very long time.
58. The last person you held hands with?
???
59. What are you wearing?
Jeans and a red shirt.
60.What is your favorite animal?
I like cats and dogs and humans.
61. Where was your default picture taken at?
In my bathroom.
62. Can you hula hoop?
The last time I tried I was pretty good. With all of the dancing I've been doing I'm getting better at hip eye cordination. I bet I could kill a hula hoop right now.
63. Do you have a job?
Yes I do. I work for Presentation Services. I've been there going on four years now. I think they're poisoning the water, I usually quit jobs after about two months.
64. What was the most recent thing you bought?
Raid Wasp and Hornet death in a can.
65. Have you ever crawled through a window?
Have I? *smiles*
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4 comments:
I giggled out loud at the vision of you smoking a cigarette with Mr. Whitaker.
really? I didn't think it was funny, I thought it was cool.
It is cool, I'm giggling because I imagined you not being "cool" on the inside. I would be taken out of the moment by my inner voice repeating "I"m smoking with Forrest Whitaker."
But I was trying to act cool. I didn't want to say or do anything that was going to make him run away. Actually he's about 6'5" and he was well over 350 lbs that night. I was trying not to ask him about ballooning up.
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