When this happens I just lay there cool as a cucumber drifting between an awake and dream state. My brain is fully active, and I can hear everything that is going on in the room I am asleep in. But at the same time I am also dreaming.
I have never had a bad sleep paralysis experience, but I have heard and read about tons of people having horrible ones. People that have this condition; often report having crazy dreams about demons sitting on their chests or about aliens coming into their bed to lay with them.
It has always been my prediction that they have these crazy dreams because they are really bothered by the fact that they cannot move, so they try to scare themselves awake. The reason that we cannot move is because when you go to sleep your body temporarily paralyzes itself so you do not try and physically act out your dreams. And in those of us who encounter sleep paralysis in our lifetimes, there is a slight chemical imbalance.
In my particular case, I'm never that bothered by the fact that I cannot move. I don't know why it doesn't bother me, but it doesn't. So I just lay there motionless, asleep and awake floating in my mind.
I would say that has been going on since 2002. And I'm not concerned about it in the least. But lately something else has been happening related to sleeping that has been making me think I'm crazy.
And tonight it happened again, so I decided to look up my symptoms on the internet and find out if anyone else was having these weird occurrences happen to them too. And now that I have read about 400 testimonials, and feel a little bit more normal, I will discuss what's been happening here.
About three hours ago, before I started reading these testimonials, I fell asleep. I woke up about fifteen minutes later, and was facing the wall. On the wall was a black orb that was moving towards me. The orb turned into a Black Spider and kept crawling toward my head. As I moved my head away, as to not get bitten, it disintegrated.
I wasn't freaked out in the least. This has been happening for quite some time. At least over a year, and possibly longer. It doesn't happen every time that I wake up, but it's a fairly frequent occurrence. Tonight was the first time that I thought I might be mentally unstable, that a spider that my mind has conjured up climbed down the wall and tried to bite me. But now that I have been reading about so many other people that it happens to, I feel better. We can't all be crazy can we?
I almost feel like I'm onto a mystery now. Perhaps the most fascinating mystery that I will ever work on and the most important. There are some interesting questions that I already have about this, and I think it's a mystery that will never be solved. Very little is known about sleep or the inner workings of the brain. And even if the technology caught up to the brain at some point, would it still be able to tell me why so many people, myself included, see black spiders when we wake up? I doubt it.
There is no medical answer for the question. That's what I have learned from the testimonials. There are just 500 of us or so that are seeing these damned things. Some of these people think it is a spiritual issue and not a medical one. Which I think is plausible. Not that I think giving my life to Jesus would make them go away, but perhaps there are some subconscious spiritual issues that I need to deal with, and until I do forever shall I see these unclean creatures.
Why are so many different people from different regions and different walks of life, seeing spiders? It's kind of freaky to think we are all seeing the exact same thing. And there are some people that are claiming they are seeing worse. They are seeing small persons, and dark spirits in their room. At least for now all I am seeing are the spiders. It could be worse I suppose. But I think it's a very significant clue that everyone who has this phenomenon is at least seeing spiders.
I personally think that what I'm really seeing is a black orb. I am seeing it for the same reason that I have sleep paralysis, because there is a slight chemical imbalance between my rem cycle and awakening. It's the exact opposite of when I'm having sleep paralysis. Instead of not being able to move, I can move completely and open my eyes, so my paralysis is gone but in some respect I am still dreaming.
That little black orb carries over from my dream land to my awakened state. And because of its size and shape my rational awake side of my brain thinks it must be a spider. And then my imagination makes it act like one. And when I completely wake up several seconds later, when my chemicals level, it disintegrates.
I hope this orb stays spider sized. Because that's what I think these people who can see larger visions are seeing. They just have more carry over chemical to the awakened side of their existence, so they can create larger dreams, day dreams in fact. Real day dreams with as many characters as may exist in a sleeping dream. Which is a terrifying, slightly provoking thought. Because if I have learned one thing from my sleep paralysis it is this: dreams are very frightening. Even the best friendly dreams have their insane mind shattering moments. Trust me the one little spider I see in the morning is enough to ruin my whole day. But what if an entire dream that you couldn't shut off haunted your every morning? That's a ride I'd like to take one time, maybe. Some of these people report that it takes up to thirty seconds for their chemicals to level. Thirty seconds in a dream is an eternity. Sometimes when I lay there paralyzed only a minute has gone by in reality, but I could swear I've been laying there for hours.
So that's my crazy sleep life, in general. What's your crazy sleep life like? What do you dream about? Have you ever had a lucid dream? I think we need to talk about these things. Do you have any thoughts about why I see black spiders when I wake up? I'd love to hear.
5 comments:
You should google "shadow people." I'm not sure if this is the same thing you are talking about or not. If it is, they are definitely not a product of sleep paralysis or chemical imbalance.
while I have to admit never knowing about "shadow people" and spending a couple of minutes getting to know them this morning, was exactly the intent of this blog, I have to disagree that I'm not seeing shadow people. The most common theme among the shadow people is that you feel like someone is watching you, and you actually do see people. I have neither seen people forms, or feel like anyone is watching. And none of the shadow people accounts see spiders. Perhaps the two are related, but I fail to see the correlation as of yet. Nice one though.... I will most def, be reading about the people of the shadow.
I'm at a lost for words.
amr
Yeah, some of the less reliable accounts on websites about shadow people involve somewhat shadow people-like encounters with black orbs or skittering critters. In a weird coincidence of your own and my thinking, I've always in the past dismissed those as undiagnosed sleep paralysis. But, never having experienced sleep paralysis myself, I could never be sure. To my mind, shadow people encounters have to involve the sense of another intelligence involved, and, while they often involve accounts of waking up, there isn't always, and even when there is there isn't necessarily any paralysis. So, no, definitely not the same thing. But who knows, read around enough and there may turn out to be a relationship.
hurry up and write a new blog...
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